(A/N: serious warning, don't read unless you're sure you can handle it. and umm i usually have a harder time naming the sensitive chapters)
Yuqi didn't have much. She lived in someone else's place, paying them anything she can manage from her job at the fast food restaurant that pays her barely enough. She worked all day and came back at night just to find that her "roommate" has already fallen asleep. So every night she tries to fall asleep because she doesn't want to disturb them.
But she can't.
She knows something's wrong with her. She can't sleep at all. She hates the way people look at her because her hair is messy and there are almost permanent bags under her eyes. She doesn't like it when people ignore her, or look at her like she's an animal. It makes her feel like she's lesser than them, and she's come to accept that she is.
Sometimes she hears things. She hears people calling for her, people that she can't see. Sometimes she sees things. She sees shadows and figures move around, but she never quite catches them. She knows it's because she hasn't been sleeping.
Sometimes there's this ringing in her ears that won't go away for days. When it gets really bad, she begs for some painkillers outside, praying that some person would be kind enough to just get her this. But no one ever stops. They assume she's high on something. They assume that drugs are the cause of the lifelessness in her eyes and her sluggish movements.
Yuqi's learned to be hungry and be fine. She used to eat the free food she gets from her work, but she's surrounded by it all day and she used to eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner all the time. So now the thought of eating anything off of the menu there makes her want to hurl.
Not like she'd have anything in her stomach to throw up anyway.
She wants to give up. She wants to give up so badly. But she'd rather keep on living than go out that way. It'd hurt her pride.
She cries a lot. So much that she rubs water into her eyes every now and then because they're dry. She cries because she doesn't want to hear people in her head yelling her name telling her that they're coming to haunt her or curse her or kill her anymore. She cries because she wants to talk to somebody. She cries because she knows not a single soul in this world will ever care about her.
Until one day she collapses on the sidewalk on her walk back from work because of the cold. And her headache. Her headache was so bad, passing out felt nice. She could finally sleep. So she let herself be taken by the black spots dotting the edges of her vision, curling up in her flimsy shirt that could barely keep out any of the harsh weather.
~
She wakes up in someone's arms, and she knows she's dreaming. She wants to cry again because she wants this. She wants someone to look at her with such care and love. And that's when Yuqi feels a warm hand tracing along her jaw, making her shiver because she's ticklish right there. That's when she realizes that it's not a dream. Someone's holding her. Caressing her face. Offering her water when her eyes fluttered open.
She finally remembered it now. She remembers having a big fight with the woman in front of her. She remembers falling from the balcony and hitting her head on the concrete.
"Soyeon."
The woman tangles a hand in Yuqi's pink-blonde hair, a tear splashing softly down onto the younger's face from hers. "Hm?"
"Why...?"
"Because I love you," she says sweetly, a smile resting on her face.
She wanted to cry again. "You love this?" She watched Soyeon's eyes rave over her face and body, dragging back up to her gaze. The older nods, her fingers brushing against her soft lips.
Yuqi wants to cry again. Not because she's sad though. Because she knows she'll never have to experience any of what she has been for the past however long ever again. She trusts the woman in front of her to take care of her until she remembers everything else. But for now at least she can remember...
She sits up slightly to press their lips together.
...how much she loved her.
