dolan twins imagines

✧ gone girl - grayson

graysons point of view :

the two year anniversary of the last time i ever laid my eyes on y/n.

the day y/n went missing, i almost felt as a part of me went missing too.

it's been two years. two, looooooong years without her.

not a day goes by without the thought of her pretty face appearing in my mind.

i still do not believe the fact she just 'went missing'. that's not possible.

every night i think about a different scenario y/n would get herself into. what caused her disappearance. because i know for a fact she wouldn't leave without a trace.

y/n's presence made me a better person. knowing in the back of my mind she was alive and well, and s-s-s-safe... fuck... i really need to stop.

i breakdown every single time she enters my mind. sometimes my mind even tricks me into seeing her in a public area. that's how desperate my poor mind is.

doctors can't help me. they never did. anti-depressants don't work, placebo effect to say the least.

i should at least try to be more positive about life, and the outlook and shit, but without y/n there's no point.

y/n didn't just flee off to a different country, or whatever the bullshit cops made up, because it's not fucking true.

i think y/n was murdered or kidnapped.

such a quite extreme accusation to make, right? only a psychopath would think of that!

no. only a sane person would.

if it's anyone you should believe it's me. my mind hasn't slept, or even relaxed in two years. 730 horrible, long days. i'm miserable.

y/n's been in my life since the 5th grade.

no, we weren't best friends off the bat. too cliche!

to make a very very very long story short, we officially became best friends in 7th grade, and lovers in 9th grade.

everyday i just think of my failure, piece of shit life.

for some weird reason i feel responsible for what happened to her.

i could've prevented what happened if i  j u s t  have done this. or maybe this. if i went over to her house that night maybe she would still be here.

you know, i really think how fucked up our society is.

one of the biggest cases (in my eyes, not anyone else's apparently.) in the state of new jersey is not even investigated for longer than 1 year.

fucking, BULLSHIT.

if they really cared, we would have the truth by now. but what do we have? NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING. EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE I GUESS BECAUSE LIFE IN MY TOWN IS JUST BACK TO NORMAL. NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE THAT A TEENAGE GIRL RANDOMLY DISAPPEARED WITHOUT A FUCKING TRACE.

y/n please come back.

my life is pure hell.

i just want to end it all, i'm so sick, and tired, of my life without you in it... but i shall not.

the only reason i'm not going to end my pain and suffering is because

a part of me has a feeling that you're still out there.

and i'm determined to find the truth. but most importantly... to find you.

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part two or nahhh