ᒪIᗷᖇᗩᖇY ᖇᗴᐯIᗴᗯՏ 2.0

🔖 The Princess And The Princess

Author : bunnybeeboo

Reviewer : Ouryoaie

• COVER : 10/10

The cover is very beautiful and completely matches what the story portrays.

• TITLE : 10/10

The title fits perfectly too and it's a very good one.

• BLURB : 9/10

I would have said the blurb was a bit long and too informative, but the way everything was phrased was very impressive. I also tried considering the fact that this was a one-shot and the blurb despite being a bit long, still made me continue reading and that's really attentive.

• CREATIVITY : 10/10

I shall not lie, even though telling isn't always advised, I loved the way you portrayed it in this story. It was a skilful way of telling in a non-blatant manner, and it made me feel like I was reading another fairy-tale story like the ones I used to read when I was little.

• PLOT : 14/15

The plot was of course cliché as you said but it was well portrayed and very good. But even if you said it was cliché, I couldn't exactly find anything too cliché in it, but it was original enough.

• CHARACTERS : 10/10

Despite the telling and the minimum use of grammar, you still managed to give the readers insight as to the characters and they felt realistic and well developed.

• GRAMMAR : 9/15

There is the issue with your grammar when it comes to dialogue and also your punctuations. For example;
"Pardon, princess Valia I believe I didn't quite understand your question." The queen asked . . .
There was an omitted comma and also, the full stop was supposed to be a comma and what follows should be in small letter. Full stops can only be used in cases when an action is being made after the dialogue.
"Pardon, princess Valia, I believe I didn't quite understand your question," the queen asked . . .
Next is with an action portrayed.
"Pardon, princess Valia, I believe I didn't quite understand your question." The queen looked at her . . .
However, for better pacing, I believe a full stop could have come after Valia.
Apart from this, there were many places you omitted the use of commas. Other than this, your grammar was good. Also, I noted corrections in the comment section, those were very helpful too.

• COMMUNICATION : 5/5

I noticed so many comments and even if you didn't reply all, I like the way you replied at least one of the comments by the same reader many times if not once.

• OVERALL IMPRESSION : 13/15

I honestly don't read much of gxg or bxb as they aren't exactly to my tastes but yours was very well written and you did a very good job.

• TOTAL : 90/100