ᒪIᗷᖇᗩᖇY ᖇᗴᐯIᗴᗯՏ 2.0

🔖 Until I Crash

Author : charlieconsby

Reviewer : Ouryoaie

• COVER : 10/10

I don't know why but I really like the cover. Apart from the fact that it gives off a somewhat dark feeling, it is really pleasant to look at. I love the way your font colour matched with the backgrounds. It's a lovely cover.

• TITLE : 10/10

The wonderful title was solidified by the blurb and the cover. It fits very well.

• Blurb : 10/10

The blurb was just amazing. The way you divided each paragraph and broke down the summary was very intriguing and skilfully executed. I can tell you put a lot of work and effort into creating this blurb. It does a very good job of attracting a reader's attention.

• Creativity : 8/10

Your description was good and I like the way you subtly introduced the reader into the environment of the character. The story itself was immersive and very interesting. It also flowed well.

• PLOT : 14/15

From what I read, the plot was very creative, adding twists to the already common plot about time machines and parallel universes.

• CHARACTERS : 7/10

With just a few words and paragraphs, you were able to create a lovely personality for your main character. I especially loved reading her pov and the way she explained the things happening around her.
However, there was an issue with the kidnapping. It was unrealistic. No one in their right mind would be calm, even introducing themselves to their kidnapper in such a situation. I suggest doing something about that scene. If anything, let Nthanda protest or resist. Anyone taken out of their home would, talk less of someone taken to another dimension.

• Grammar : 10/15

Right off the bat;
I believe it is Procrastination saved my life and not Procrasinating saved my life.
There weren't any other errors apart from you dialogue. I suggest looking up how to use punctuation in your dialogue. I will highlight a part. It is especially not advisable to put a thought in bracket and between a dialogue.
"Great. I'm Nthanda," (Why was she so enthusiastic?) "Where are we?"

• COMMUNICATION : 5/5

I like how you are open with your readers, even communicating effectively with them.

• OVERALL IMPRESSION : 9/15

I felt the first chapter was rushed, especially with the later part where the woman crashed into her home and immediately too her somewhere else. Unless she is weird (from her weird conversation), it's okay like that. I really enjoyed reading this right from the first chapter. It was very humorous and I loved the weird dialogue. However, still do something about that part, it was rushed.
I also mentioned above the credibility of the character's reactions, please work on it.

• TOTAL : 83/100