ᒪIᗷᖇᗩᖇY ᖇᗴᐯIᗴᗯՏ 2.0

🔖 My Love Potion

Author : HaziranSezen

Reviewer : Ekta2000

• COVER : 9/10

Your cover is very catchy and beautiful. I was instantly excited to read it. If there is one thing I could suggest to make it better, it would be to increase the font size of the title itself. If you could make 'Love Potion' a little bigger and more focal, it will be a perfect cover.

• TITLE : 10/10

I really like the title of the book. It signifies that the poems within will be healing and wholesome. Great job there!

• BLURB : 6/10

I would recommend making your blurb a little more descriptive because there is no clear indicator of what the poems are about. Clarify who is speaking and who is this person talking to. If possible, add a quote from the book as well for further insight.

Another pointer is to capitalise on the 'i'. When referring to oneself, the 'i' should always be in uppercase, i.e, 'I'.

Eg - "to make you understand how much 'I' love you," or "I know you won't trust me."

Also, the blurb doesn't completely fit with the poems that are within the book, so try to make that more congruent.

• FIRST POEM : 6/10

The intention behind the poem was really sweet but it didn't really come through to me. I liked the name of the poem, 'Pomme d'amour', i.e, the apple of love and the relation you created between apple and sugar. However, the actual content didn't really stay with me. I would recommend using more descriptive, raw, and emotive words so that the reader can feel the lines as they read them.

• MESSAGE : 7/10

The message of a one-sided love came through but the structuring was very random. The first two poems are almost like conversations between two lovers but after that, there is a random addition of a diary sort of entry, where one person confesses their feelings for another, unsure whether the other will love them back.

Try making the transition more smooth and clear as it felt very abrupt when I was reading it.

• GRAMMAR : 7/10

The grammar bit was okay, not too many grammatical errors. There are a few pointers you should keep in mind though.

There is no space before punctuations, it comes right after the word.

Eg- 'Wake up darling !' should be 'Wake up darling!', or 'Are you sure ?' should be 'Are you sure?'.

In your first poem, you use the term 'putted', which is not a word.

As I mentioned earlier, capitalize on the 'i' when you are referring to yourself. Don't use message language like 'cuz' or add emojis in between the stanzas as that is very unprofessional.

There were also a few simple grammar mistakes like, 'from catching your hand' should become 'from holding your hand.' A few of these simpler errors can be corrected through apps like Grammarly, so I recommend that you check it out.

• CREATIVITY - 9/10

The poems are very creative in terms of thought and execution. I haven't read this type of poetry style before so it was unique to read this.

• STYLE/FLOW : 6/10

Once again, this was a little confusing. Your first and second poem is formatted in the middle and written completely in bold. All of a sudden, the third poem is left formatted and written in normal text and the fourth one is left formatted but written in bold.

I didn't really understand why the poems were styled in such a way so maybe look into that.

• READER INVOLVEMENT : 3/5

The intentions behind the poems were very sweet and powerful. However, the execution was a little lacking and I didn't find myself as immersed in reading it. The poems have the potential to be a lot more engaging, so work on the emotion and phrasing part of it.

• COMMUNICATION : 5/5

It's great to see that you reply to almost every comment, whether it is praise or criticism. Very good work there!

• OVERALL IMPRESSION : 7/10

It was a nice read but there is so much potential to make it better. Try making the poems rawer and filled with emotions and work on the inconsistencies I have mentioned above.

• TOTAL : 75/100