ᒪIᗷᖇᗩᖇY ᖇᗴᐯIᗴᗯՏ 2.0

🔖 Secret Haven

Author : AlliePrascsak

Reviewer : Ouryoaie

• COVER : 10/10

This cover is very beautiful. It has a subtle way of reflecting your story.

• TITLE : 9/10

From what I read, the title doesn't exactly fit, but I'm sure with time it should.

• BLURB : 6/10

Okay, first off, the blurb was too long and I got tired of reading after a few paragraphs. It does gets the story across; that is if readers actually take their time to read it. It's either they jump into your book or skip it. Cause I cannot lie, there are many stories just like yours and if your particular story is unique, your blurb is doing it no justice. At. All.
A blurb is the selling point of your book and if you mess up in that aspect . . .

Your blurb is good and I love the way it focused on the story, but it would be a bonus point for you if you can shorten it and do something about it as a whole.

• CREATIVITY : 8/10

The description was on point. Not too vague and not too much and you wrote well. The characters and their situation seemed perfectly normal.

• PLOT : 12/15

The plot is okay but is a bit too common. But your execution of the story is very good.

• CHARACTERS : 9/10

The character description was very good and the reports also helped the reader to learn a lot about the main character.

• GRAMMAR : 14/15

"-ayla! Layla! Can you hear me?!"
That start is a No. No. I know you want the reader to get the sense that she started hearing from that point, but a dialogue must never be started like that. No dashes in front. No starting with small letters. I might be wrong (I doubt that) but I have never seen this while reading countless published novels, neither did I see it when reading about dialogue rules.
If you want to show something like that. Simply do this;

"Lay . . . Layla! Can you hear me?!"
That is alright as you've already noted that her attention snapped back to reality; showing that she hadn't been paying attention. You know, while reading your dialogue, I noticed something; it kind of really makes me happy even though I have no reason why. You positioned each comma and full stop where they were meant to be and I really commend you for that.
Apart from the above mistake, your grammar was simply perfect.

• COMMUNICATION : 0/5

I notice you barely have any comments and that you have a . . . enthusiastic reader, but it won't hurt to answer at least four of her comments if not all. Though I feel there were parts where she wasn't just . . . exclaiming.

• OVERALL IMPRESSION : 12/15

The reports at the beginning were dope and that isn't something I have come across in other books in a long time. The story isn't exactly hooking; though it might be for manty people, it is good and was well written. I am not fond of books like this but I must say, it was a smooth read for me and I liked that. Keep it up.

Overall, I couldn't really find any fault with the book, so it's good. I can also tell you put a lot of work and research into planning it out.

• TOTAL : 80/100