ᒪIᗷᖇᗩᖇY ᖇᗴᐯIᗴᗯՏ 2.0

🔖 Notorious Five

Author : renegxde

Reviewer : Ouryoaie

• COVER : 10/10

The cover is very good and I like how it kind of showed all the five characters; even though one turned his back to us. It's a wonderful cover and fits closely with the title and story itself.

• TITLE : 10/10

The title is really good and from it alone I can get the sense that these five get into a lot of trouble. Your blurb showed hints of that.

• BLURB : 8/10

The blurb was really short and precise and apart from giving the reader a setting of Skylar's world, it also brought out a bit of the type of person she was. I wouldn't say this blurb is a bit vague but it has done enough to grab a reader's attention into finding out more from the book.

• CREATIVITY : 8/10

The description and Skylar's narration pulled me in from the get go. It has especially been a while since I saw a precise description of another character by the MC. The atmosphere of your writing was especially well set and the description was on point.
Your writing takes a few paragraphs before being easy to follow and I really like your writing style.

• PLOT : 12/15

The plot might not be all that especially when I'm still trying to figure out the secret the community has, but your description and world building makes up for that, including your writing style. All these factors made your work interesting. I also followed every word as Skylar described the situation as it was.

• CHARACTERS : 10/10

I like how you subtly introduced each of your characters, instead of having Skylar going into a monologue of every single details about their lives or family. You also did well in making them as realistic as possible, both through their speech and actions. Your characters were especially very interesting to read about, even the unimportant ones.

• GRAMMAR : 10/15

Your grammar was nearly perfect.
It was really nice reading something I didn't have to be on the lookout for and it took me a while before I realised I was reading to point out mishappenings before going back a few times to cross check.
There is something I noted in your first chapter. I believe it was an attempt for your character to show an action while speaking.
"You need to stop expecting –" Blake . . . walk through, "–them to be better that what they are . . ."
The thing is the dashes are actually supposed to be outside the quotation marks, and with the way the above is, it felt more like he stopped talking to do that; which is kind of awkward. So it would have been better like this;
"You need to stop expecting" –Blake . . . walk through— "them to be better that what they are . . ."
Yes, that is actually how it is written.
Well, reading on, I notice there might have been blunders when it comes to using punctuation in your dialogue. There are times when you go it.
"Come in, come in," She holds the door out for us to enter.
The thing is you only use comma with lower case letters when you are using a dialogue tag or showing how a character spoke, but it isn't so when a character performs an action. A full stop is supposed to be where you used your comma.
"Come in, come in." She holds the door out for us to enter
Or
"Come in, come in," she says as she holds the door out for us to enter.
Another place too, okay, I suggest reading on how to use punctuation in your dialogue when writing.
"I heard you caused some trouble in Jessie's class." She begins as I take a seat next to . . .
One suggestion first. Each time a character starts a conversation, it should have its own paragraph. The above was merged with another paragraph containing a description of the office when that exactly shouldn't be so. This makes reading easier and your work neater.
"I heard you caused some trouble in Jessie's class," she begins as I take a seat next to . . .

• COMMUNICATION : 5/5

Even with so many comments, I love how you responded to each of the users posting those comments. Your replies were especially lively even if some were just a few words.

• OVERALL IMPRESSION : 14/15

I am not sure if I should call this book amazing or what, because I would never actually read this kind of story or anything having a ounce of "slice of life" because I normally find them kind of boring. But your writing style and description said otherwise. It is something I will definitely be reading after reviewing and I simply love how you wrote about your characters and the surrounding situation. The interactions between her and her family especially has me laughing sometimes and I loved all the interactions in this story.

• TOTAL : 87/100

As a reviewer, I want to be sure the writer has seen their review.
@renegxde Have you see it?
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