ᒪIᗷᖇᗩᖇY ᖇᗴᐯIᗴᗯՏ 2.0

🔖 Before It's Too Late

Author : Skymoon6311

Reviewer : _xPandorax_

• COVER : 9/10

The cover is beautifully done and definitely gives a hint of the fantasy and maybe even sci-fi genre this book is on. It appears almost like a train moving through a space tunnel which is really cool. The colours are all well blended together and even the title looks rather rocky but fitting into the background. One suggestion I would make is the name at the top. It's a bit hard to read and is a tad awkward in my opinion with its location. I think it may be the colour of it so look into that.

• TITLE : 10/10

I honestly really like the title. It is a bit cliche in my opinion but of course it is up to you. Overall, it sends to message of adventure and honestly, the idea of the characters working on a clock. The whole idea of travelling through time, back and forth, is very interesting and the title adds to that suspense. And of course, the way it blends into the cover is very well done as I already mentioned. If you did want to change the title in any way, I would suggest adding a word that corresponds to the genre of the novel which would avoid cliches and give a stronger insight into what your story is about without looking at the cover.

• BLURB : 8/10

The blurb has all the information someone needs to know what this book will entail and what it is going to be about. You introduce Mylah in a very direct way which is good and you also mention what kind of adventure she'll be going on throughout the book. A Time Travel train in my opinion is a hard description to pull off. The way a train moves through time and the lights and how the tunnel looks, all is a description hard to pull off! So the fact you took the liberty to try this book out with such a complex plot in terms of description is already bringing people into your book! One thing I would suggest is maybe adding that hype to your blurb. Rewording it so that it brings attention rather than being so simple and almost cliche. A good way of doing this is adding some adjectives and describing some things such as who Leora really is and what kind of personality does she have. Is the reader going to be looking at a bubbly woman or someone who's robotic and monotone? Adding such small descriptions makes a difference!

• CREATIVITY : 6/10

The ideas are all there. The idea of Mylah feeling a force, the emotions of her parents' death coursing through her, the struggles, everything is there and it's awesome. However, one thing that a lot of writers struggle with, (INCLUDING MYSELF!) is showing rather than telling! I will give an example. At the beginning of chapter 3, you say "...a subtle force was impelling Mylah's mind..." which is telling. Rather, add detail! Does she feel the blood pulsating to her temples? One thing to keep in mind when trying to explain these things are the five senses! Believe me, detail is what sells the story!

• PLOT : 9/15

I think the plot rather moves quickly. In Chapter 2, when Mylah has that breakdown, she quickly gets over it. Despite how long its been since her parents' death, the way Sara got Mylah to forget about it was not ideal nor realistic. Try to really put yourself into your characters' shoes to understand how they are feeling. A way to help with this is by adding detail of what she's feeling. Maybe her throat tightens, her fingers tingle with apprehension. Its those little details that sell the story. Including flashbacks can also be helpful and give readers an insight on where Mylah is coming from. Another thing I wanted to point out is the sentence structure. There are some sentences that are rather odd sounding when spoken out loud and a good way to overcome this is by speaking the sentences out loud when editing or going over your chapter and make those changes you see fit. Another thing I noticed is that there is a lot of useless plot. Don't fill your book with random and useless scenes. And if they aren't useless, then make sure to connect them to the main point of the story. Examples are some parts of Chapter 3. If it does not contribute to the novel, don't add it in because it only becomes fluffy chapters and those tend to get boring overtime!!!

• CHARACTERS : 6/10

Within the first couple of chapters, you really do get to understand the persona of each character. Sara appears as a very bubbly friend and seeing as how her and her family took in Mylah after her parents died, one would take it that she's empathetic right? So show that! Show that emotional connection the two best friends have. For friends that have practically been by each side their whole life, one would want to see just how close their friendship is! Many other individuals are introduced such as Meriem and I think the pace you're going at to introducing characters is good and well thought out. One thing I like to tell fellow writers and something I always keep in mind is how unique is your character. Especially the protagonist. Aside from their backstory, them as a person, as an individual, what makes them stand out from a huge crowd of characters on Wattpad?

• GRAMMAR : 14/15

Your grammar looks spot on! You don't seem to use any long sentences for a comma to be included and so that can be a good thing XD. Your quotations are rightfully written and grammatically correct. One thing to look out for is the switch between tenses. Most of your story is in the past tense which tends to be what authors go for when writing in third person. In some places you do switch to present tense and so that is something to look out for when writing by always keeping in mind what tense you want to write in.

• COMMUNICATION : 4/5

For the most part, you connect with your readers which is extremely important! Readers love it when their favourite authors reply to their messages and despite it taking time, it is the one way that makes readers feel like they are being cared for and seen :)

• OVERALL IMPRESSION : 12/15

Overall, I think this book would do well with some more details being added in. It'll help the reader visualize the story and make those emotional connections. Keep in mind, you never know what words you write can hit the reader in ways you would never expect.

• TOTAL : 78/100