ᒪIᗷᖇᗩᖇY ᖇᗴᐯIᗴᗯՏ 2.0

🔖 The Fallen Queen

Author : blooddess_

Reviewer : Sam_Frazier

Caution: What you're about to read is written from the perspective of an evil miser who can be an awesome idiot sometimes. Please don't take her words to heart.

• COVER : 7/10

Okay, honestly it's great, but a few aspects of the cover are not clear. For e.g, that little hook that has been added is not clear, I suggest enlargening the font because I had to zoom 2x the size to check what was written on there. (I still haven't read the whole thing lol, I need to run an eye checkup, I might be in need of glasses😥) You can also increase the contrast levels to make it stand out.

Oh, second thing, the background color can also be improved. That is, it's a little blurrish, I suggest you increase the brightness, contrast and the hue of it.

The picture used looks perfect, just needs a little edits:)

Last thing, place your name on the very top or very bottom of the cover, it looks sorta out of place in the middle of nowhere.

• TITLE : 6/10

I have actually seen gazillion books with the same sort of title in fantasy books, so I won't say it's a unique or creative title. However, it still somewhat fits the theme so you don't need to change it (you can but make sure it stands out and fits your theme more perfectly.)

• BLURB : 5/10

Oh dear lady friend, the inner critic which prevents me from being the Awesomest version of me is now gonna take over my senses. Buckle up, you may not like it 🙈
Firstly, the opening para,
(I'm just typing out the edits and suggestions, so I won't type out the original version)

First para, type it out like this,

There's a danger, there's gonna be a war.
There are secrets, and we don't know if they're gonna be at par.

Second para, instead of telling us about who and what she lives with, tell us about her personality(I've no idea what her personality is like even after reading five chapters 😭)

We don't need to know about her family members, just the necessary details like what she's like and what is going to happen that will change her life forever.

Third para,

The Fallen Queen is Etis's most cherished and mysterious history, after which are equally prominent figures from the past.

This sentence hasn't been phrased properly, it sounds... Wrong. I'm not sure how to explain but the grammar is sorta wrong in here. You know the words used after the comma, that is, "after which are equally..." My brain is slow and there are gazillion dumbeggs Iike me out there and they might not understand what you've actually written... So go sit in an isolated corner to calm your mind down and write something which makes a little more sense.