ᒪIᗷᖇᗩᖇY ᖇᗴᐯIᗴᗯՏ 2.0

🔖 Once Upon A Halloween

Author : The_Potato_Writer

Reviewer : Ekta2000

• COVER : 8/10

Your cover is catchy and pretty, it immediately caught my attention. However, the font doesn't seem to fit the cover picture. I would suggest moving the title of the book below the figure of the witch and changing the font to something a little more mellow and suitable.

• TITLE : 9/10

Great title! One search and yours is the first book that popped up, so it's not too common for it to get lost in a sea of books with the same title. One thing I would suggest is to remove the '...' from the title because it looks a little unprofessional and tacky.

• BLURB : 8/10

Good job on the blurb as well. It is informative, gives a hint on what the book is about, and sparked my interest immediately. However, I recommend removing the '...' at the end of the blurb for the same reason mentioned above and because it does not add anything to the blurb or the plot of the story.

The blurb was also missing a few commas here and there, so you could work on that as well.

Eg - "...joins the Council of Power in the future, they made a test for witches..."

You can remove the comma after 'have to complete' as that is unnecessary and I would recommend changing the phrase, "show if they are worthy," to "prove if they are worthy."

• CREATIVITY : 10/10

I have to applaud you on the creativity aspect. I have never read a story with this type of plot before. While reading the first chapter, my interest wasn't amped up too much but when I got to Olive's POV, things started connecting and making sense. After a point, I didn't even realize when I clicked on to the next chapter because I was so enraptured in the story. Kudos!

• PLOT : 13/15

The storyline is wonderful. It takes a compelling plot to get someone completely lost in the fictional world of the story, and you have done just that. Very good job on plot development. While I expected the initial challenges to be a little harder than just putting a puzzle together, for example, it did not make me dislike the story. While I read only the first 5 chapters, I do hope that the challenges coming up will be a lot harder and diverse because that would make it a lot more engaging.

• CHARACTERS : 9/10

Your character development work is also pretty well done, good job there. The only inconsistency I found was that if Olive was as deathly scared of spiders as was said, I expected her to be more frightened of the spider. You could elaborate a little more on how her blood ran cold or that she felt dizzy at the sight of the spider, to really give the feeling that she is scared of them.

• GRAMMAR : 12/15

There are not too many grammar issues so good job there. Just a few things I would point out. First, the overuse of '...' breaks the flow of the story and feels very unprofessional, like I'm reading a text message. I would recommend removing them.

Second, if you're writing a POV, bolden the font which states whose POV it is because I almost missed it the first time.

Third, there are several missing commas and unnecessary commas which lead to a little confusion as I read the story. You could use Grammarly or any other such app to detect these minor issues and fix them.

Fourth, a few words and phrases seemed repetitive while I was reading. I would recommend looking up the synonyms of some words and using a more diverse range of expressions so that the interest of the reader remains intact.

• COMMUNICATION : 4/5

I noticed that a few people were replied to and a few people weren't so I've taken off a point here. However, the replies seem to be friendly and receptive so that's good.

• OVERALL IMPRESSION : 13/15

Overall, I think you have a strong plot and strong character fleshing. The only thing that needs some work is grammar and punctuation. If you get those under your wing, this can be an exceptional read.

• TOTAL : 86/100