Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

No One Cheats On Peter Parker

Ships: SpideyPool, IronStrange, BlackPepper, Shurichelle (not stated but it's just always there)

Warnings: Mentions of cheating, break ups, revenge, vengeance, crimes that go with this, improper description of how the justice system works (or is it? Tony's a billionaire)

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When Peter discovered his boyfriend - some random teenager he'd met nearly 8 months ago - was cheating on him, Peter wasn't sad.

Sure, he'd liked the guy, but he didn't love him. They weren't soulmates, and Peter had never tricked himself into thinking that they were.

However, that did not mean that Peter wasn't angry.

Actually, he was beyond pissed.

Except, Peter was also Spider-Man, and Spider-Man never woke up and chose violence... Unless his friends and family were in danger, of course.

Unluckily for Peter's cheating ex, the Peter Parker Protection Squad wasn't as docile.

It started one random, seemingly insignificant Thursday - two days after Peter's break up.

He was sitting in class, all of his pencils broken from rage, finger nails chewed in anger, and his shoulders were slumped in exhaustion. He was not having a good day.

Not until loud, booming footsteps echoed in from the hall. Footsteps that one didn't need superhearing to notice, as every eye turned towards the room's one entrance.

With a loud bang, the one and only Tony Stark-Strange burst through the classroom door, ignoring the shouts of alarm. He slammed a slip down on the teacher's desk before anyone could say a word.

"I'm here to pick up Peter," Ironman said, looking at the teacher.

"I, uh," the teacher spluttered, looking at the slip. "I mean... you're Tony Stark-Strange?"

"Do I not look like Tony Stark-Strange?" Tony replied, frowning deeply at the teacher. This was Midtown - a school for the rich and/or intelligent. Why was a teacher not understanding something so simple?

"No, wait, yes - you do. Uh, yeah, the slip checks out. Mr Parker, you're free to go," The teacher mumbled eventually.

"Wait, wait, what the actual fuck!" Flash shouted, jumping to his feet. "How do you know Parker?!"

Ironman looked at Eugene, now even more disappointed in the school. "Because he's my Intern? I'm certain he's mentioned it."

"But he's- but you're-" Flash spluttered, looking around for help. The other students were looking away, wanting no part in this.

"Grab your shit, kid," Tony interrupted, gesturing for Peter to hurry. "We've got that cheating asshole of an ex-boyfriend of yours to fuck up."

"We're doing WHAT?!" Peter cried as he speedily shoved his belongings in his bag. "How do you even know about that?! I've only told Ned, MJ, Shuri, and- it was Aunt May, wasn't it?"

"Fuck yes it was! She, Shuri, Nat, and Loki are in the limo, now move you're ass, vengeance is calling," Tony called, sauntering out of the room.

Peter sent a horrified look towards MJ and Ned, who shared a glance. As Peter fled from the classroom, MJ and Ned decided they weren't going to miss this.

Before the teacher could say anything, the two teenagers were out of the classroom, chasing the two superheroes down the hallway.

The drive to the ex's house was remarkably long due to traffic, and full of threats of violence and scheming.