Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Teaching Thor

Content: A Thot, butterflies, computer treason, doughnuts and a dead Peter.

Whenever I write Thor it autocorrects to Thot and whenever I write Thot is autocorrects to Thor! Can my phone just decide whether it wants me to write about a god named Thot or a hoe named Thor!

I probably should have edited this better... but I'm too lazy.

Ships: Thoruce! Implied IronStrange

———

Thor walked into the kitchen, A.K.A the place where Peter Stark-Strange was sitting. The teenage boy was nibbling on a peice of toast, thinking about all of the assessments that he had put off until last minute.

"Young Parker?" Thor asked, drawing the attention of the small brunette.

Peter looked at the god. "Hmm?"

"I got this strange fluttering feeling in my stomach when i was talking to Bruce." Thor explained, sitting down on the oposite side as Spider-Man.

"It sounds to me like you have butterflies in your stomach, which means that you have a crush on Bruce!" Peter grinned.

The god of lightning gasped, a horrified look covering his face. "I don't recall eating such things! How did they get inside of me?"

"No, no, no, you dont underst-" Peter was interupted as Thor jumped up from the table.

The blonde quickly made his way to the fridge, threw it's doors open, and grabbed out a stick of butter.

"Thor, no!" Peter cried as the lightning guy pushed open one of the kitchen windows and yeeted the butter out of it.

"Goodbye butters of the fly!" Thor called after the falling dairy product.

Peter face palmed, sighed, and added 'Butter' to the shopping list attatched to the fridge.

————

Peter burst into the tower's main lounge room 30 minutes after school finished.

"IT'S HAPPENING EVERYONE, STAY CALM!" He shouted, making his family look at him weirdly.

"What's happen-" Thor attempted to ask, but was interupted.

"STAY CALM!"

The heroes stayed quiet as Peter hyperventilated, stopping after a few minutes.

"Drarrrrryyy!" Peter shreiked, throwing his hands up in the air.

Thor stared at Peter in confusion. "Son of Tony, are you stable mentally? The only person I have ever seen react like this is brother Loki."

Peter grabbed out his phone and shoved it into Thor's face. A crack video made completely of Drarry moments.

"That is the most adorable thing I have ever seen!" Thor squealed, eyes twinkling as he clutching his heart.

———

A low growling sound made Peter look up from his phone.

Thor was hunched over one of the Stark laptops, anger blazing through his eyes. "You will obey my commands, Er of the Computs!"

The lightning guy quickly summoned Mojinor, which he aimed at the computer.

"Woah, woah, woah! What are you doing?!" Peter cried, grabbing the computer and wrapping it into a hug.

"The Er of Computs is ignoring me which is a declaration of war!" Thor said, raising his hammer in the air.

Peter looked taken back before he snickered. "Thor, the laptop is technology. It is not a person."

"Then why is the technology not obeying me?!" Thor pouted, dropping Mojinor and crossing his arms like a child.

Peter didn't answer, keeping his mouth closed so the no laughter spilled out. Thor continued pouting before a smile covered his face. "Does it not know I am the king of Asgard? If not I shall inform him!"

The brunette teen placed down the computer and left the lounge room in tears he was laughing so hard.

———
Peter was eating his 19th donut and watching YouTube videos that only belonged on the dark side of YouTube when Thor burst into his room.

"Ahhh, man of Spiders! I am confused over something the brother Loki has sent me." Thor exclaimed, shoving his phone in Peter's face.

The brunette teen swallowed the last of the donut before taking the phone and reading the message.

'Lol, Idk Thot u need 2 figure it out. ttyl. Gtg.'

"Laughing out loud, I don't know Thot, you need to figure it out. Talk to you later. Got to go." Peter smiled at an even more confused Thor.

"Oh, okay. I'll ask someone else, but what does Thot mean?" The lightning guy asked.

It was Peter's turn to look confused. "That hoe over there. Why do you need to ask someone else? I just told you."

"Young Parker, you did not. You said that you don't know, called me a thot, said I needed to figure it out, that you were laughing out loud, you'd talk to me later, and you had to go." Thor said, his eyebrows scrunching up.

The teenager blink at him before giggling softly. "No, no, no, you misunderstood me. Gtg means got to go. Ttyl means talk to you later. Idk means I don't know. And lol means laughing out loud."

"So then why did Loki call me a thot?" The king of Asgard asked, tilting his head to the side like a puppy.

Peter smiled happily at him. "Thor, you are the biggest thot I have ever met. Wait, what did you ask Loki in the first place?"

"I wanted to know what omg meant." Thor said, making Peter giggle again.

——

Thor walked into the living room full of superheroes and waited a minute before speaking.

"Omg, The Er of Computs isn't letting me look up Drarry and the flies of butter are getting worse. Ttyl! gtg."

Everyone blinked at the god as he left the room before turning to look at Peter, who was rolling on the floor in laughter.