Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Can I Call Our Relationship A Happy Meal?

This chapter was an idea/request from @marvelxdc123 who also thought of the idea/request of the last chapter.

Ships: Stucky, Spideypool (Wade and Peter are both 21 for reasons you have to wait to find out)

Warnings: Swearing, death, blood

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"Wait, wait, wait!" Ironman cried, face resting in his palms. "You want us to recruit Spider-Man and Deadpool so that they can help us take down a Hydra facility? Have you gone nuts?!"

Fury raised his left eyebrow, staring at the group of Avengers with his best bitch face. "Does it look like I'm fucking joking."

"It doesn't look like your fucking any-" Bucky was interrupted as Steve hit him in the back of the head.

"You have no choice but to follow my orders because, if you don't, I'm putting parental locks back onto all of your devices." Fury said seriously, making everyone in the room believe that he would do exactly as stated.

Tony huffed and puffed but gave in after his fellow Avengers had all nodded in agreement.

"Where will we find them?" Natasha asked, looking up from Clint's nails (which she had been painting through out the entire meeting).

"Ah, now that's the easy part. We have them both tied up in the next room." Fury answered with a slight grin, not thinking about just how psychotic his words sounded.

"Let me get this straight. You," Steve said, pointing at the pirate man, "have kidnapped both Deadpool and Spider-Man, who you want us to ask for help from, and put them in the room next door."

Fury simply raised an eyebrow at him. "Did I fucking stutter?"

"Is kidnapping those who we need help from a Midgardian custom?" Thor asked, confused over whether kidnapping was considered good or bad in Midgard.

"No, buddy, it's just something that people like Fury do to assert dominance over us puny mortals." Tony said, half comforting Thor and half making fun of him and Fury.

"Hey, wait! Where's Bruce?" Clint asked, realising that the radioactive monster mash man wasn't in the room.

"Banner's working on the cure for cancer at the moment and he's running a couple of elemental experiments that need his complete focus. Now," Fury said, his tone turning commanding, "go convince Spider-Man and Deadpool to take down Hydra."

It was quite clear to everyone in the room that the duo of webs and katanas didn't need much convincing.

The moment that Bucky had finished explaining why they were tied to chairs and what mission they needed help with, Peter and Wade turned to each other.

Deadpool and Spider-Man seemed to have a silent conversation, their expressions continually changing. A few minutes later they answered, which was rather creepy as they spoke spoke at the exact same time.

"We're In."

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"Did it hurt?" Wade asked, sitting down next to Peter as the SHEILD plane thingy took off.

"When I fell from heaven?" Peter asked, raising his right eyebrow with a frown.

"No, when you fell from the vending machine because you're a snack." Wade flirted, smirking at the brunette.

Peter was glad his mask covered his blushing face as he pushed Wade into the floor with a huff.

Deadpool groaned out an 'Oof!' before hoping back up next to Spider-Man.