Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Bondy Over Broadway

I'm back at school, yay (yes, that was sarcasm). It's only the second day an I already have a bazillion assessment to do and every class has given me homework!

This one-shot is a request from Brohelp and a picture of the request is above!

Ships: IronStrange

Warnings: Swearing, does good Flash need a warning? Idk

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Peter Stark-Strange had had a really weird day. He had woken up covered in purple glitter, green toy army men, whipped cream, and 27 red, 15 green, 31 yellow, 8 orange, 19 blue, and 12 pink crayons (yes, he did count them).

Then he had realised that every pair of shoes that he owned, except for his favourite pair of red glittery high heels, had been lit on fire.

But that wasn't all.

No, the entire tower was completely empty of people, every window on the 9th floor was open, the lounge room floor was covered in yellow Kinetic sand, and there was an alligator in Peter's bathtub.

Now, before you ask, no the Avengers had not had a party, nor had anyone gotten drunk or high. There was no real reason that Peter had woken up the way he did and with the house the way it was.

Even though the situation had been really weird, Peter didn't care all that much. He ignored the Kinetic sand, told Friday to close all the windows, put on his high heels, and got dressed for school.

Humming the melody of 'Helpless' as he went, Peter drifted between the rude New-York-ians. He might have purposely shoved a couple of Karen's of the way but they deserved it.

Anyway, after what felt like hours to the Brunette, he finally made it to Midtown High. By this point he had hummed most of the Hamilton soundtrack, receiving only a few confused stares from tourists that weren't used to minding their own business. He had also gotten into a fist fight with a random guy who insisted that Lin-Manuel Maranda sucked.

That guy was now missing 5 teeth and had a broken nose.

Strutting into his high school like a newly pregnant runway model on a mission to slaughter her baby daddy, Peter realised he was over five and a half hours late. "Ah, fuck!"

"Peter Benjamin Parker! You are late to school for the ninth time this week!" Mrs Dexal screeched, storming down the hallway.

"But its only Wednesday!" Peter responded, frowning at the Karen standing before him.

Mrs Drexel was in her mid 40s, Karen hair cut, very obviously fake tan, strangely sharp fingernails. Even though she was a teacher she would always complain about having to work, saying that she should be payed by the school for looking after her 'babies!' so she that she didn't have to turn up for work.

If she was told to do something then she would complain about the school board being sexist, even if a male teacher was given the same task.

How she even got a teaching job in the first place is astounding! She couldn't do basic maths, could barley read, didn't know a thing about science, hated children, and was disrespectful to all her fellow staff members.

"I will be informing the principal about your horrible language and you will be suspended! Unless.." She smirked, staring at him with an evil gleam in her eyes, "you tell me everything you know about Miss Sze!"

Miss Sze and Mrs Drexel had an ongoing feud over who is the best teacher. Miss Sze was obviously winning but Mrs Drexel didn't know that.

"She's a lesbian, totally has a thing for Black Widow, dyes her hair once a fortnight, hates onion, loves the colour purple." Peter said, getting a malicious grin from the Karen.