This is a book of insane One-shots centring around everyones favourite friendly neighbourhood spider!
Warning ⚠️ !!! Will include:
- a LOT of swearing
- this book is verrrrryyyyy gay. Like 99.999% of my ships are gay.
- possibly, most likely, de...
Oh dear gods, chapter naming just keeps getting worse....
Anyway, thank you all so so so much for nearly 300,000 reads, over 11 thousand likes, and over 10 thousand comments! It's just... wow. I didn't think this book would ever get nearly this popular!
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The person who requested this has since deleted their account, but they were previously known as @mysanityisz3ro.
Ships: IronStrange, BlackPepper, Spideypool
Warnings: Swearing, I guess Hamilton spoilers if you never listened/seen the musical
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Tony stood at the stove in the Avengers Towers kitchen, cooking eggs and humming lightly to himself.
Steve, Bucky, Thor, Nat, and Bruce sat around the kitchen table while Clint and Stephen were seated behind the kitchen bench.
Subconsciously, Tony mumbled a word from the song he was humming. "Angelica~"
"Eliza~" Stephen - Tony's husband - continued the chain, half minded as he drank his tea.
"And PEGGY!" Peter screamed, webbing himself through the kitchen window - which sent shards of shattered glass everywhere.
Clint spat out his coffee.
——————
Natasha and Pepper stood next to the Stark-Strange husbands - drinking Starbucks and holding hands. The four of them stood in the courtyard behind Avengers tower, multiple employees walking pasts at all times.
"What's Peter doing?" Pepper asked, raising an eyebrow at the cackling teen.
"He's burning all the creepy, neckbeard fan mail he's received this year." Stephen answered.
Natasha cringed, thinking back to some of the weirder letters he had received. "I don't blame him."
"You've torn it all apart I'm watching it burn Watching it burn!" Peter half sang/screamed, tipping the giant bag of letters into the fire.
Thousands of weird, stalker-ish letters flew into the fire as Peter cackled loudly.
——————
Peter stood on the roof of his school, a crowd of his schoolmates below.
"Everyone give it up for America's favourite fighting Frenchman!" Peter screamed through the megaphone.
"LAFAYETTE!" Everyone shouted back, Peter back flipping off the building and landing with the crowd.
"Ooooooooh!" Everyone cried as every speaker in and around the school began playing Lafayette's rap.
————————
Because some random asshole of a villain wanted to overtake New York, Peter was angrily fighting him instead of rewatching Hamilton the musical on Disney+.
"Give up, child! I will have control over New York whether you like it or not!" The Gillian cackled as Peter rolled his eyes.
"And I am not throwing away my shot!" Peter shouted, getting a confused look from the villain.
"Wha-" The villain was interrupted.
Thousands of spiders began coming closer to the fighting hero and villain. "I am not throwing away my shot!"
The villain let out a horrified shriek as a tidal wave of arachnids came closer.
"Hey yo, I'm not like my country!" Spider-Man sang, Tik Tok dancing as the villain began to run.
He didn't get very far, however, because he was soon overtaken by the spiders - Peter continuing the song in the background. "I'm young scrappy and hungry!"
As the villain was swallowed by the sea of spiders, Peter sang the last line before returning home. "And I'm not throwing away my shot!"
———————
Peter was sweeping the main lounge room of Avengers Tower - attempting to clean up the glitter he had spilt across the floor. His family lounged across the couches, playing on their phones as he swept and sang.
"Longing for Angelica, Missing my wife, That when Miss Moria Reynolds walked into my life~" Peter sang softly.
The living room door burst open revealing Peter's boyfriend, Wade, wearing a red dress and a wig.
"I KNOW YOU ARE A MAN OF HONOUR!" Wade sang/screamed.
"What the fuck?!" Peter's family shouted, as Wade and Peter burst into laughter.
———————
IronDad: Peter, why is Lin Manuel-Miranda in the lobby?
Gay_AF_Spider: I may or may not have bought a thousand dollars worth of Hamilton bootlegs...
IronDad: ...You're basically a billionaire. You don't need to buy knockoffs.
Gay_AF_Spider: Oh yeah!
———————
Peter walked up to Mr Scones, who was filling in for Peter's usual History teacher.
The teacher had taught them in class that day that Alexander Hamilton and John Lauren's relationship was purely platonical, and Peter was not impressed.
His classmates crowded around the hallway, hiding their clear interest in Peter's reaction. Everyone knew he was a hardcore Lams shipper.
"Does this look like a friendship to you?" Peter cried, shoving a pile of photocopies of the original letters exchanged between Hamilton and Laurens.
"What-" Mr Scones tried to say, but Peter shoves a packet of skittles into his mouth and threw rainbow glitter in his face.
"Taste the rainbow, bitch. Lams in cannon." Peter said, walking out of the building.
————————
3:39pm Gay_AF_Spider: Ugh, my work is never done!
3:40pm Guy_In_The_Chair: Take a break, dude.
3:40pm ImABadBitch: Ned! What have you done!
3:41pm Gay_AF_Spider: I aM oN mY wAy
3:42pm ImABadBitch: Peter...
3:43pm Gay_AF_Spider: I'lL bE tHeRe In JuSt A mInUtE, sAvE mY pLaTe!
——————————
Hamilton was playing loudly from the speakers as Peter completed his homework at the kitchen table, singing along.
"Alexander!"
"Aaron Burr, sir!"
"Can we agree the duels are dumb and Immature?"
The teen shot from his seat, flipping the table. "nO!"
Realising that he'd just destroyed his homework, Peter sighed. "God damn it."
————————
Some random nosy interviewer sat across from Peter and his fathers, their conversation being live streamed to the thousands of people watching.
"So Peter," the interviewer started, looking a lot like Rita Skeeter, "what type of music do you like?"
"Ahem." Peter said clearing his throat to sing an example.
The reporter shook their head. "Oh no, I just meant tell me-"
"How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman-" Peter was interrupted as Stephen and Tony shot forward, covering his mouth.
Stephen sighed loudly. "One day, Peter. You can't even go one day without doing this!"
