Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Bruce Knows Vines

This is a request from @ImRunningOnCoffee who has some absolutely fabulous ideas!

I never thought I would have 2 requests to write at the same time, let alone 6! Luckily I get a two week holiday in like a week so I can write them all then.

Ships: Thoruce, IronStrange

Warnings: Swearing

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"Bruce! Where the actual fuck is my coffee?!" Tony Stark-Strange shouted, storming into the tower's main kitchen.

Other then Bruce, the only people in the kitchen was the 'Meme Team', a group of Vine spewing teenagers made up of MJ, Shuri, Ned, Peter, and Loki.

This team was in the kitchen for the sole purpose of making a purple abomination called a 'Thanos Cake', whatever that meant. It was a strange and slightly soggy sponge cake drenched in purple icing and weirdly coloured sugar rocks.

Anyway...

"Bitch please! As if I would take that sorry excuse of sustenance you call coffee!" Bruce said sassily, putting down his book on gamma radiation and standing up.

Tony let out a very Karen like gasp while dramatically clutching his chest. Ironman's eyes burned with rage as he used all of his might to bitch slap the scientist.

Bruce put a hand on the place he had been slapped, pouting slightly. "Aw, fook! I can't believe you've done this!"

The kitchen fell silent for a few moments before a loud crash echoed around the room.

Peter, a wide toothy grin covering his face, had purposefully dropped the Thanos Cake for added dramatic effect. This decision made purple icing, cake, and shards of the glass plate, scatter across the floor as he let out a high pitched squeal. "What the fuck, Richard! You know vines?!"

Bruce nodded slightly, eyes widening in horror. He had just revealed his biggest secret to the pack of teenagers standing before him.

"You now have no choice but to join the Meme Team because, if you don't, we will halve no choice not to put barbecue sauce on your titties." Shuri threatened, half quoting one of her favourite vines.

Tony, having realised that it probably wasn't Bruce that took his coffee since his mug wasn't in the kitchen, stared at the cake covered floor.

"I'm not cleaning this shit up." The billionaire said, turning on his heals and sauntering off to complain to someone else, most likely his husband, about the missing coffee.

The Meme Team and their newest member ignored him, too busy planning what they could do with six people and all the vines they could possibly quote.

Their planning was quickly interrupted by Steve, who walked into the room looking rather confused. "Do any of you know why Tony just sla-"

"Fuck your chicken strips!" Bruce screeched, yeeting a wooden spoon at Steve.

Steve widened his eyes in shock, ducking away from the flying baking equipment. "What the-?!"

"This bitch is empty, yeet!" Loki cried, throwing a cutting board at Captain America's head.

"Okay, okay! I'm leaving!" Steve shouted, running out of the kitchen as quick as he could.