Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

WELL FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW

This request was requested by XxBlurry_SunshinexX and I had so much fun writing it! So sorry it took so long, though!

If you can name all the musicals I've referenced in this chapter; respect!

Ships: IronStrange, Shurichelle

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of murder, blood, and monster fighting

Before I continue this chapter, I have something very important that I'd like to say:

Hello all!

This might be triggering to some of you, but I know that with everything that's been going on lately everyone's in a bit of a mental funk, of sorts. And so, after having a conversation with someone who wishes to remain anonymous, I've decided to remind everyone that you are all worth so much more then what you might think.

Don't disparage yourself for your faults, they make you who you are! Every single person reading this is so creative, remarkable, and unbelievably magnificent in their own way. Don't you dare let anyone - yourself included - tell you otherwise!

You aren't paper to be cut or rocks to be broken, you are sensational. Simple as that.

Take a break, read a book, try a new recipe, learn a language, hell - you could even take over a country if it makes you happy! Stay happy. Please.

Please stay safe and take care during this trying time. Message me if you ever need or want to, I'll message back as soon as I possibly can.

Start of the request:
————————

Peter stood an the table in the middle of the school cafeteria, everyone staring at him. As the student with the highest marks in his year, he was meant to be giving an inspirational speech to his fellow classmates.

"If you want to get the best grades in our year group... there's only one thing to do: I have to die. I love you all... except you Draco. I can't fucking stand you." Peter said before standing down from the table.

MJ, Ned, and Shuri (who was attending school with Peter while she and T'Challa stayed at the tower for a month) sighed while most of the other students clapped in confusion.

"Peter, you can't just quote A Very Potter Musical every time someone asks you to write a speech." MJ snickered.

"Oh, okay." Peter said, hoping back onto the table. "And I'll be giving away answer keys every Thursday after school in the unisex bathroom in exchange for a donation receipt worth $20 or more!"

The crowd cheered as his friends face palmed. Luckily, there were no staff members present.

————————

Peter and Ned were sitting in the school library - reading comic books while Mrs White quietly spoke with one of the spoilt brats from the year below them.

He'd been giving the elderly teacher major attitude all week and Mrs White wasn't going to let him get away with it.

"I'd be careful, Joshua, I know a lot of secrets about you and your family and I'd bet you'd just hate for them to come out to the public." She hissed, just loud enough for Peter and Ned to overhear.

Peter turned to Ned, gesturing to Mrs White with a mock stage whisper. "That's why her hair is so big - it's full of secrets!"

Mrs White smiled knowingly at Peter before exiting the library - leaving a fearful Joshua and a chuckling pair of teens.