Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Peter's New Parents - The Laser Tag Fiasco

This chapter has been requested by gayshitbitches (great username, btw), and I'm so super sorry it took so long!

When I was rereading parts of this chapter for spelling mistakes, I started hearing them in a medieval story teller voice. It was weird.

Does anybody have any non-Peter people they ship Ned with? I'm planning a VERY gay chapter and need another ship.

Ships: Stucky, Thoruce

Warnings: Swearing

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"No." May said, crossing her arms.

Tony's face fell. "No?"

The Avengers, Loki, Peter, and May were sitting in Stark Tower - Tony basically begging May to allow him the right to adopt Peter, 

"You heard me - no. You're barely capable of keeping yourself alive, much less a teenager." May responded firmly.

"Aunt May-" Peter tried to speak, but was quickly interrupted by his aunt.

"Ah, Ah, Ah! However," She began, getting a look of interest from the team. "I can see that you all absolutely adore my nephew and it would be unfair to keep him to myself. So I've decided to allow Steve and Bucky to adopt him - if they choose to."

The room fell silent and not a single person moved. The frown on Tony's face quickly disappeared, being replaced by a large grin.

While he did want Peter to be his adoptive son, having the teen as his nephew would be just as good. He could be the fun uncle, too, and not have to deal with the whole 'parenting' thing.

The billionaire turned to the super soldier couple, grinning and nodding his approval. That seemed enough to make the previously shocked, now ecstatic pair jump from their seats.

"Really?! Yes!" They shouted in sync, getting a cheer from the rest of the Avengers, who were glad that Peter would still become their nephew.

"Whelp, sign these contracts and send them into the government, I'm off to Paris. Au revoir!" May said, standing up, handing the Rogers-Barnes couple the paperwork, hugging Peter goodbye, then leaving.

"Well, that went unnaturally fast." Natasha mumbled, Bruce nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, this doesn't seem legally correct at all." Bruce added, shrugging his shoulders. "But, hey - we've got custody of Peter now!"

Clint grinned down at Peter. "Now that we're your family, what do you wanna do?"

"Yeah, kid, anything you want." Tony agreed.

"Let's play laser tag!" Peter shouted in response, throwing his arms into the air with a cheery grin. "I know the perfect place!"

Multiple groans of horror filled the room, which were then ignored by an ecstatic Peter, while Thor just sat there in confusion. "Why would we play tag with lasers? Is this the way you Midgardians kill off your excess spawn?"

"Because laser tag is fun!" Peter screeched, running towards the lift. "I'll meet y'all in the limoooo!"

A grumble could be heard as the group of heroes followed him, Thor no longer confused but Steve gapping. "Are none of us going to mention the whole 'excess spawn' thing?!"

Bucky looked at his boyfriend, shrugging. "When there's too much drama at school all you gotta do is walk awayayayayayyyy!"

"What the fuck does that even mean?!" Steve responded, still not caught up with Vine references.

Tony snickered as he walked past, purposefully trying to confuse Steve more. "And they were roommates."