Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Flash Hates The New Kid

This was a request from veebaby2605 and I'm so sorry for how long it took!

Ships: IronStrange, SpiderFlash

Warnings: Swearing, slightly creepy flirting.

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Eugene 'Flash' Thompson did NOT like the new kid.

Perhaps it was his 'I know better then you about everything so shut up and listen to me' attitude. Or his unrealistic male love interest/footballer build. Or the fact that he spoke three languages, had amazing and loving parents that he verbally disparaged constantly, and was disgustingly rich.

But most of all, it was the fact that the new kid was blatantly flirting with Flash's boyfriend, Peter Stark-Strange.

Not that anyone knew of their relationship, of course, but still.

"So, what's a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?" The new kid purred in a clearly flirtatious way, grinning at Peter.

The youngest Stark-Stranger stared at him for a moment, obliviously not noticing his excessive flirtation. "I go to school here... Anyway, come on. I'll show you where your classes are."

Earlier that morning Peter had been tasked with being the new kid's tour guide. The principal had asked that he give the other teen a full tour around the school, which would end at their first break.

"What's your name, by the way?" Peter asked, waving to his friends and secret boyfriend while looking at the new kid.

"Chad Moneybags." Chad replied with a smirk, while Peter held back his laughter at Chad's last name.

"Well, Chad, I think you're going to like it here. Almost everyone is super nice. Mr Hall is an amazing teacher, just watch out for Mr Scones on the 26th of each month." Peter suggested, cringing lightly.

"Why?" Chad asked in suppries, before shaking out of his confusion in favour of flirting with the other teen. "I'm sure i will absolutely love it, if you're here."

Ignoring the second part, a horrified, mortified look covered Peter's face. "The 26th is Mr Scones shaving day, and he's always looking for someone to help with the spots on his back that he can't reach."

Chad have the teen a wide-eyed look, mouth dropping open in disgust. "Are you serious? That must be some kind of mental abuse. Have you gone to the police? I can't believe Ironman and Sorcerer Strange would ever let their son go they've that!"

"No, no! Mr Scones might be an asshole sometimes, but he's a pretty incredible guy overall. And my parents find it amusing." Peter quickly added, his face souring at the jab at his fathers' parenting.

"While I agree that I am an incredible guy," a voice interrupted, causing the two teens to turn to the three teachers standing behind them, "I don't overly like being called an asshole."

Chad Moneybags gulped while Peter smirked. "Pfft, you don't care - you never do!"

Mr Scone snickered but nodded in agreement. "Even so, if I hear you call me an asshole again, you'd really want to fake a very serious illness on Monday next week."

Peter just laughed, while Chad gazed at the teen, awe-struck. Eugene Thompson, however, fumed silently.

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The hallways were full of tired, hungry teenagers by the time the lunch bell rang, signalling the end of Chad's tour. Peter, who felt bad abandoning the other teen with no one to eat with, invited him to join their small friendship group's table.

Chad smirked largely, like his 'genius' plans were finally falling into place. "I knew you wanted me around."

Peter fake laughed at what he thought was meant to be a joke, not picking up on the cocky, flirtatious, egotistical undertones.

"Ah, I hope you know CPR, because you are taking me breath away." Chad added, using a cheesy pick-up line.

Spider-Man blinked in alarm. "Are you having trouble breathing? Should I get a teacher?"

"What, no. Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic Ocean. And I don't mind being lost at sea!" Chad tried again, using another line that was clearly stolen from google.

"But my eyes are brown." Peter responded, eyebrows pressing together.

From across the hall Flash glared daggers at Chad, who had begun openly invading Peter's personal space. The brunette, however, took no notice of Chad's closeness.

Peter turned slightly, placing a book back into his locker. Just as the teen had touched the book to the metal shelf, he felt a hand touch the small of his back - causing the teen to freeze.

Chad, somehow thinking it would be a good flirting technique, grinned toothily, not removing his hand.

That's when Flash snapped, storming across the hall and twirling Peter around - causing Chad's hand to fly off of the brunette's back. Surprised but unconcerned once he realised it was his secret boyfriend, Peter smiled happily.

Within seconds Flash had pulled the teen into a surprise kiss, shocking every single person in the hallway.

Chad's mouth dropped open, with the teen scoffing in angered dismay. Everyone else, including Ned and MJ who had thought Peter was joking about dating Eugene, gasped loudly.

As Chad Moneybags turned on his heels, storming away from the couple, Peter pulled away from his no-longer secret boyfriend. "Was that really necessary, hun? I wasn't planning to come out to the world in a school hallway."

"He was openly flirting with you - my boyfriend - of course it was necessary!" Flash responded with a pour, getting another loud gasp from the watchers.

Peter blinked in surprise before going wide-eyed with a blink of mortification. "WHAT?! He was flirting with me?!"

Flash sighed deeply.