Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Peter's Pets

People of Wattpad that strangely seem to enjoy my One-Shots, here is another One-Shot! I really enjoyed writing the Houdini one so I decide to make something similar but different.

I still have writers block and I'm running out of One-Shots I have prewritten so it might be a little bit before I post another one.

Ships: Spideypool and Stucky

Warning: One swear word.
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Wanda walked past Peter's room, but stopped in her tracks.

"P-Peter? W-What are y-you doing?" She stuttered out, staring at the teenager.

"Bear? What bear? I have no idea what you are talking about!" Peter yelped out.

A baby bear's head was sticking out from the neck hole in Peter's shirt while his head was hidden in the shirt.

Peter and the bear stumbled over to the door and closed it slowly, leaving a shocked Wanda on the other side.

———

Peter stared at the Emu, the giant bird staring back. Sam and Clint, who had both entered the lounge room in hopes of playing Mario Cart, looked at the two in shock.

"Chirp!" Peter shrieked, voice much higher then usual.

The Emu squawked loudly, making the two bird related heroes jump and run out of the room in fear. The two didn't stop until they were no longer in the tower, leaving Peter to die by the feathers of the flightless creature.

Or at least that's what they thought would happen.

In reality Peter and the Emu were watching Project Runway while throwing rainbow popcorn at the TV. The human of the two repeatedly gasped out 'Queen!' every now and again.

————

Peter was sitting in class, reading his text book like normal.

Well it would have been normal if a python wasn't draped over his shoulders.

His teacher and most of his classmates all watched him in silence, unsure what to do about the venomous reptile. The students close to him kept inching their desks away, terrified of the snake.

After a few minutes of silence, Peter placed down his book. The class flinched as the brunette teen's chair scraped against the wooden floor, letting everyone in the room know he was getting up.

Peter walked over to one of the large windows and pushed it upwards, opening it in silence.

Ned and MJ, who were used to Peter's weirdness, rolled their eyes at him.

"What the fuck are you doing, Peter?" Ned called as Peter started to climb out of the window.

"Stuff! I'll text you later!" Peter yelled, making his way out the window and running across the oval.

The teacher just stood there, a mixture of relief, confusion, and horror etched onto his face.

———

You would think that the people of New York would stop and stare at a brunette teen riding a giant turtle through the streets. But they did not.

Only a handful of people reacted to the 1 meter tall turtle, most of which thought it was a Mutant Teenage Ninja Turtle.

Deadpool wolf whistled at his boyfriend from his place at the top of a Mexican food shop.

"Baby boy! Where'd you get the green shelly thing?" Wade called, jumping off the building.

Peter smiled and patted the turtle gently. "I bought him from a gay wizard living in a galaxy coloured van."

It's not usual that the Merc with a mouth was speechless, this was just one of those rare occasions.

The turtle, with Peter sitting on his back, and Deadpool walked in silence for a few minutes. "Uhhh, when did Dumbledore start living in a van...?"

Wade was really struggling to come up with a witty reply, which made Spider-Man giggle.

"Well I've got to go make Jeff eat Steve's toupee." Peter said as the turtle turned towards Stark tower.

"I'll see you for our date tonight!" Deadpool called loudly, making people look.

Peter, who just couldn't pass up the opportunity, looked at the people staring at him in shock. "He was talking to the turtle!"

————

Tony stared at his son, eyes going wider every few seconds. Being a billionaire he had seen a lot of craziness but this just took it to a new level.

Peter, who was dressed up in a penguin costume, held 26 leashes in his left and right hands.

At the end of each leash was a penguin in a different coloured bedazzled collars.

"Hey dad, I want you to meet Anthony, Bellatrix, Connor, Diana, Ella, Flynn, Greg, Henry, Isabelle, Jake, Kelli, Lisa, Morticia, Nick, Olathe, Persephone, Queenie, Rachel, Steve Jnr, Tessa, Utopia, Venessa, Wednesday, Xavier, Yuna, and Zoe." Peter said, waddling along with his new pets.

Ironman watched as Spider-Man left the room. "I'm so lucky I only had one." The billionaire said quietly.

"I heard that!" Peter, who seemed to have developed super hearing, called.

—————

Natasha and Peter nodded at each other as they walked down the hallways.

6 squirrels sat on Peter's head, their little claws tangled around the brown strands.

Natasha, on the other hand, had a squirrel in each of her 4 pockets.

"Squirrel Squad." They both said, going in opposite directions.

—————

Steve and Bucky didn't know what to do.

Their nephew was sitting at the kitchen table feeding a camel a bucket full of porridge.

"I-I just don't know what to do." Bucky stuttered. He had felt with a lot of Steve's shit but never, ever, had he thought he would have to deal with this.

"Aren't you a beautiful big boy! Oh yes you are!" Peter cooed, scratching under the camels chin.

Steve pushed his lips together tightly, making his cheeks puff up. Bucky frowned but didn't say anything.

"If you eat all your porridge I'll give you some ice-cream! Good boy! Good boy!" The brunette teen continued loudly.

The two gay men out of time left the kitchen soon after Peter got out the ice-cream.

———

"Several animals from the New York zoo have gone missing and there are no suspects. In other news, police are looking for a brunette teenage boy seen riding a giant turtle through the streets around Central Park." The news lady said, her voice echoing around the lounge room of Stark tower.

All the superheroes turned to look at Peter, who, noticing they were looking at him, turned to look at Clint.

Tony sighed and face palmed. "We're so banned from that zoo."