Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Soulstone Sorcerer Training

Basically, I was watching Endgame again (for the seven billionth time, I need help) and couldn't help but picture an alternative ending.

Ships: Oh my gods... there are no ships. I am beyond horrified.

Warnings: Somewhat explicit murder, swearing, battle scenes, fighting, OP Spider-Man (though, his webs can canonically keep the Hulk at bay in the comics, if the Marvel Cinematic Universe did him right he'd be a lot more powerful)

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When a group of heroes come together to right the wrongs if a story - to rewrite history as one knows it -, it is expected that they exceed.

They grow from their mistakes and find salvation in themselves and each other. They deserve the win that they fought so well for.

Sure, half of the universe was back - including the Asgardians, Natasha, Gamora, and Loki (who's 2012 version didn't take the tesseract) - but the battle wasn't over for the heroes who had fought for this return.

And they weren't winning.

Not until dozens of glowing gold portals opened across the battle grounds, revealing hundreds of soldiers - both Midgardian, Asgardian, and other.

In an instant, all the dusted heroes and warriors necessary to shift the tides of this battle were within reach. Yet, they stood there stoically - almost amused.

"What are you waiting for?!" Thanos roared, put off by the stillness of his enemy's returned allies.

The never-dusted heroes were equally as baffled, especially when two more portals opened.

One appeared next to Tony, from which stepped Dr Strange - levitating and cloak billowing in the wind.

The other opened a few metres from Thanos, and Spider-Man stepped out, mask tugged off and face blank.

Thanos stared at Peter for a long moment, perplexed. "Who is this infant? Where are his parents? Do they know he is going to die momentarily?"

Peter let out a light laugh, which further puzzled Thanos, his army, and everyone present who hadn't been dusted. "My parents are dead, Mr Thanos, and you will be too when I'm through with you."

"Kid! Back down!" Tony cried as Thanos let out a boom of laughter.

Stephen placed a hand on Tony's shoulder, pulling him back with a light whisper. "Just watch."

"You?" Thanos scoffed. "Kill me? I think not."

Thanos's soldiers raised their weapons, springing forward to fight any hero nearby. However, with a wave of Peter's hand, every single being on Thanos's side was sent into and endless fall, much like the one that Loki was stuck within.

There was a resounding gasp of surprise from the heroes, who watched as a mere teen disposed of their foe so efficiently and without effort.

"A person can learn a lot while they're trapped inside an endless stone, worrying constantly about everyone they hold dear," Peter spat. "So your death is on you."

"What are you gonna do? Web me to death?Put me in a portal?" The galactic being mocked, rolling his eyes. However, everyone could tell that the purple villain was getting nervous.

"Close but no cigar," The teen replied, smirking.

Before Thanos could open his mouth once more, two clones of Peter appeared, one to his right and one to his left.

Each shot an electrical web at the titan, sending him crashing to his knees with a gasp.

Before Thanos could come to his senses, another portal opened up. Only, this one was  in the middle of Thanos's body, cutting the Titans into two halves perfectly.

Silence followed as Thanos's two halves slumped to the floor, confirming that the titan was dead and gone. Then the two clone Peter's disappeared and the portal closed, leaving only a cheery real-Peter behind.

"Well, that was easy," Peter grinned.

"Kid, what the fuck was that?!" Tony cried, stepping forward.

Peter looked over to his mentor. "Mr Stark! Look! I learnt how to do magic from Mr Dr Strange, sir!"

Ironman turned to the smirking sorcerer as the crowd of heroes and warriors cheered in victory. "You taught my kid witchcraft?!"

"Yup," came Stephen's nonchalant reply.

Tony clutched his chest as he watched Peter portal closer to him. "I think I'm having a heart attack."

"Mr Dr Strange taught me medicine, too, do you want me to check your pulse?" Peter asked, concerned.

"NO!"