Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

The Terrific Tower Tour

This chapter was requested by @Nobody2USweetie and I greatly apologise for how long it took.

Also, I'm making Harley Peter's brother because I can. Simple. And I think Tumblrs finally got to me... I don't know about you guys but the screaming goat is constantly in the back of my mind. I can't stop it and it's messing me up.

If you want to make friends (and want to be able to say that you've joined a cult), join my 'Being Nice To People To Make Friends Because We're Socially Awkward' Cult/discord server! I'll put a link in the comments next to this paragraph when I post it:

If the link doesn't work, message me and I'll send you a new one!

Ships: SpideyPool, Stucky, IronStrange, Thoruce, ScarletVision, HawkSilver, Shurichelle, and Harley x Loki (Haroki? Larley? Loley? Idk, whichever one you guys like I'll use in the future, if people even like this ship)

Warnings: Swearing (you guys should be used to it by now, though), mentions of a racist Karen, mentions of a Cocaine bowling ball, mentions of the Trumps, threats of physical violence, bullying.

———————————

"Shut the fuck up, you dumb bitch ass sluts!" Peter cried, throwing himself out of the closest classroom window.

The sound of three face palms (the teacher's, Ned's, and MJ's) and a chorus of snickers came from behind him as he left the school grounds.

His classmates had been bullying him all week over his 'fake' internship. He honestly didn't care about their cruelty but also didn't want to do HPE in the next period, so he'd decided to run away - blaming it on the bullying.

You see, Peter and his class were going on a tour of Stark Tower - the same Stark Tower that he lived in with his fathers and faked an internship with to keep his identity secret.

So yeah, his classmates were right, but they were also wrong because they were all dumb bitch ass sluts who couldn't mind their own gods-be-damned business!

Yeah, he was a tad bit angry.

"Sluts!" He screamed, bursting into the living room of the Tower - a good two hours before he was due him.

His family, who were sprawled around the large lounge room, didn't blink an eye at his sudden appearance, his scream, or his lack of school attendance.

"Hey, kid." Tony mumbled to his son, not looking up from his phone. He was having a Twitter war with Donald Trump, who he'd called a 'stanky orange twat' at least three times already and it had only been 20 minutes.

Peter just groaned, slumping across the floor at his parents feet.

"Why don't you go see what Loki and your brother are up to?" Stephen asked, looking over from his own phone. He was also having a Twitter war, but with Trump's wife, Melania. They were comparing wedding rings currently, and Stephen was winning.

Peter groaned louder. "Nah, they're on a date in Central Park, dressed up In realistic Shrek costumes and skimpy genie outfits over the top, belly dancing to 'Hips Don't Lie' by Shakira."

Tony and Stephen muttered something which sounded suspiciously like 'weird motherfuckers', mainly because that's exactly what they said.

"Those evil children are far too chaotic for their own good." Steve said from a recliner, shaking his head. His boyfriend, Steve, nodded in agreement, not looking up from the cursed comments subreddit he was reading through.

"I'm just gonna go to sleep, I think. Maybe post some shitty fanfics, dress up in drag, and start a fight on Discord." Peter announced, hoping up from the floor.