Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

The Pizza Oven Cult

Nearly forgot to publish this today, hehe. That would NOT have been good.

This is a request by PhoenixUpRising1 and I'm so sorry... not just for how long it took, but for what I've done to your potentially fluffy, normal request.

Ships: SpideyPool, Shurichelle, BlackPepper

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of cults, fighting, fire.

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"Peter... what's that?" Wade asked, staring at his boyfriend, who was grinning cheerfully only feet away.

"A smoothie." The teenager replied, holding up his drink.

Wade blink at his boyfriend, giving him a confused look. "No... the thing that those men are bringing through the kitchen window on a crane...?"

"Oh, that's a pizza oven!" Peter replied, watching as the men set it down. In the kitchen of their newly purchased apartment.

"Is that why you had the builders tear out those benches this morning?!" Wade exclaimed, gapping at the oven.

Peter shrugged, taking a long sip of his smoothie. "Yup."

Wade sighed deeply, shaking his head. "Why would you get us a Pizza oven?"

"Actually... I don't know. Hmm..." Peter replied, eyebrows pressing together in confusion.

"Okay, tell me what happened leading up to this decision." Wade instructed, sitting down on the couch with his boyfriend following suit.

"So I was walking through the Walmart parking lot when..."

——— FLASHBACK 1 ———

Walking through the Walmart parking lot with Shuri, MJ and Ned, Peter was more than surprised when a man wearing a slice of pizza costume jumped out from behind a car.

"You there!" The pepperoni and cheese clad main exclaimed, point at Peter specifically but looking between all four friends. "Have you excepted the fact that pizza is the only true sustenance on this miserable Earth?!"

The four friends shared a look, bright grins appearing on their faces.

MJ spoke up first, nodding profusely. "Yes, pizza is our life. It is all that we eat. All that we worship."

"You worship the pizza as well!" The man exclaimed. "Then you must all agree that pizzas bought at stores are far overpriced, and must be vanquished."

"They are?" Shuri mused aloud, going along with the silently agreed upon plan. "I had not considered that."

The man nodded frantically, the crust of his costume flapping with each bend. "Oh yes! They are most definitely far too expensive."

"And how do you know all this, o' wise one?" Ned asked dramatically, with his friends nodding along frantically.

"I used to be employed under one of the corporate tyrants - as the mascot for one of their stores. That is where I first received my robes." The man explained, gesturing to his warn out suit. "It is also where I realised the truth behind pricing."

"What do you suggest that I do, fellow worshipper of the slice? How do I stop the tyrants from swindling my every dime?" Peter replied, acting mortified at the thought.

The man looked around, then whispered his response. "There is only one thing, but it may be a big sacrifice before it stops the tyrants."

"What?" The four friends asked in sync.