Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

No Endgame Spoilers- Loki and Peter: gods save us all Part 1 of 2

Warning ⚠️: Moody Peter, swearing, maybe some murder

Ships: Spideypool, Stucky, IronStrange

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A slightly chilly breeze woke Peter up two hours before usual. He was staying at the tower while May went on a business trip and had left one of the large windows open.

Literally dragging himself along the floor, he closed the window and got up. It was still dark outside being only 4AM and Peter wanted to murder the fates for waking him up so early. He had only gotten back at 1, giving him barley 3 hours of sleep, but luckily it was a Friday. Teachers didn't care on Fridays.

Sighing he grabbed his clothes and got dressed, exiting his bedroom. Surprisingly Loki sat in the kitchen, reading a book and sipping at a cup of tea.

Looking up, Loki smirked at the teen. "Ahh, Peter! I have decided you will be spending the day with me, isn't that wonderful?"

"Sorry Mr Loki, I've got school today." Peter answered apologetically.

"I know, I've memorised your timetable. I will pick you up at second lunch, you have only got free period this afternoon which means you can leave whenever you want." Loki said happily, like he had just won the lottery.

"I'm not even going to ask. Okay, do I need to pack anything for this day?" Peter asked, no longer caring.

The god of Magic conjured up black skinny jeans, a black shirt with Loki's helmet printed on it in green, a green jacket and gold sneakers. "You will be wearing this today. Change immediately."

Not wanting to make a god angry, he went back to his room and got dressed, wincing when he looked in the mirror.

It wasn't that he looked bad, no, he actually looked really good. The shirt was skin tight, showing off all of his muscles, something that he tried to hide with baggy shirts.

That morning the Avengers gave Peter questioning looks when he left for school, but nobody asked.

When Peter walked into school, it seemed as if every head turned towards him. The hallway went silent before people started whispering to each other.

"Is that Peter Parker?"

"Since when does he have muscle?"

"Why is he dressed like that?"

"Does he have a girlfriend?"

"Oh my gawd, look at his abs!"

Peter held in a laugh at the last one, knowing that it was his boyfriend, Wade Wilson, A.K.A Deadpool.

"Baby boy! What bet did you lose?" Wade yelled, putting an arm around his smol bean boyfriend.

"I didn't lose a bet. I'm spending the day with Loki and he wants me to dress like this." Peter sighed, looking down at his clothes.

Wade grinned, most likely listening to Yellow and White in his head. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, stuff I guess."

The Merc with a Mouth raised an eyebrow at the brunette before he realised that his boyfriend was tired.

"Petey-Pie, we've talked about this. You need your sleep because otherwise you get really dark and moody. Remember how you kicked that guy in the nuts for looking at me?"

Peter nodded, not caring the slightest bit.

"Fine, I'll try and get more sleep tonight, okay?" Peter agreed with a groan.

Wade smiled widely and the two made their way to class.

A few hours later it was time for Loki to pick him up, but Loki being the drama queen that he is, had to do it in style.

Pulling up in an emerald green Ferrari, yes a Ferrari, the god elegantly walked into the building.

He was wearing the same thing as Peter which didn't go unnoticed to anyone.

A few guys and girls swooned as he walked past, heading into the office.

The 50 year old lady, who was drinking a cup of coffee, spilled the drink all over herself but instead to cleaning it up she decided to start flirting.

"Why hello hot stuff, what can I do for you?" She said, batting her eyes at him.

Loki turned green in disgust. "I'm taking my nephew, Peter Parker."

"Reason?" She asked, moving her hair flirtatiously.

"We are taking over the world."

The lady giggled and printed out the leave pass. "Maybe I can be your queen."

Loki nearly vomited.

"No. I am the queen." He said simply, grabbing the pass and leaving.

It didn't take long to find Peter because a crowd of people surrounded him.

Ned, MJ, Wade and Peter were sitting at their usually empty table, the first three trying to stop Peter from murdering the strangers.

"So Peter, I hear you like chemistry. That's a good thing because I like the chemistry between us." A blonde girl said, making goo-goo eyes at him.

"Tracy, for the last time I'm fucking gay!" Peter yelled, clutching his plastic spoon with enough force to break it.

Another girl pushed Tracy aside. "You won't be after a night with me!"

"Can't you dumbo bimbos leave me alone?!" Spider-Man shouted, trying to get up and attack them.

"This is why you need to sleep, Baby boy." Wade said, holding him around the waist with one arm and patting him on the head with the other hand.

Peter growled as MJ drew him in her crisis book.

A different girl from the other two, reached over in an attempt to grab the book. "Ooooh, can I have that?"

MJ glared at the girl, slapping away her hand.

"Don't you fucking dare touch my book!"

Ned was video taping the whole thing, planning on showing the regular, non tired, Peter.

"Why don't you dump that stupid blonde and hang out with me instead. I am the captain of the football team." A brown haired douche bag said, trying to hand Peter his number.

Wade just ignored them all, knowing that sane Peter wouldn't like it is he went full Yandere on their fellow teens.

"Favoured nephew, it is time to leave." Loki said, surprising the others at the table.

"Uncle Loki, thank Odin's bra that your here. Kill these bitches for me?" Peter asked, scowling at said bitches.

Loki looked at them, immediately understanding why Peter wanted them dead.

"Your father and all of his fellow dumbasses would kill me if I killed them, so no. Let's just go already, we've got things to do, people to torture." Loki answered in disgust, wanting to get away from the hormonal teens.

Wade let go of Peter and they quickly walked out of the cafeteria, the teenager pointing the middle finger towards the table.

"Where to first?"