Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Questionable Q&As

This is a request by Annabeth-Chase-XxX and I am super sorry for the wait! I hope it's somewhat similar to what you imagined, hehe.

Warnings: Swearing, threats, slight angst but in the usual bullying way, bullying,

Ships: WinterIron, SpiderFrost, HawkSilver, Shurichelle, Thoruce, BlackPepper, Sam x Steve, and Carol x Maria Hill

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Ah, the Avengers Q&A - the most exciting part about any tour of Stark Tower. Well, any tour deemed important enough to actually get a Q&A.

As such, almost everyone was looking forward to their joint thirty minutes with the superhero team.

Everyone except for Peter Parker-Stark-Barnes, the adoptive son of Tony and Bucky, who was being bullied not 20 feet from his family.

"Mr Parker, I'm warming you that If any funny business occurs during this Q&A, your grades will go from a C- to a D-, or maybe even worse." The teacher spat, wrinkling her nose at the teen.

"Yeah, Parker," Flash added loudly to her right, "Wouldn't want the Avengers to know that you're faking being Stark's intern, would we?"

Peter frowned deeply, but tried not to engage. If he spoke back to either of them, the teacher would give him detention for weeks.

She rolled her eyes, scoffing lightly. "Not that they'd probably even care what an orphan, street rat like you says."

Peter's stomach churned at the mention of the word orphan, blinking back a stray tear or two.

"Perhaps this is why that Aunt of yours, Mary, was it? Died. Too embarrassed over being related to you to keep living." Eugene snickered. "Oh, wait! Mary was your mother. I bet she died from shame, too."

The teacher let out a high pitched cackle, joining Flash in his sick, taunting laughter, just as a group of pissed off heroes, and a chaotic Norse god, and one of the most badass women in the world, burst out of the conference room and into the hall.

"WHICH ONE OF YOU STUPID ASS SHITHEADS USED MAY'S DEATH AGAINST PETER?!" Natasha screamed, held back by her wife, Pepper.

It didn't take more than a second for them to realise that the only people around Peter were Flash and the teacher.

"How'd you know?" The teacher gasped before she could stop herself. If she was smart, she would have denied the accusations.

However, she was not.

"We have an AI, you dumb bitch." Bucky snarled. "An AI who told us the moment you agreed with that little shithead who tried to hurt our son with those bitch ass words."

The other members of Peter's class were watching in shocked silence, unsure what to say or do. All they knew was that shut was about to go down.

Sam and Steve looked ready to throw hands, but their anger was no match for the chaotically angry energy of Shuri and MJ.

Shuri, MJ, and Ned had been on the other side of the room, waiting for him, when Flash and their teacher had cornered Peter.

"Oi, Thotius!" Shuri shouted at Flash. "Stop being a bully, you miserable dimwit!"

"Yeah!" Ned and MJ shouted in response, arms flung into the air.

Loki nodded, also agreeing with the Wakanda Princess, before storming forward to pull Peter into his arms. "If you ever say another word to my boyfriend, I will make you understand exactly why I am one of the most feared magic wielders in all of Asgard!"

"It is true," Thor added, stepping forward alongside his fiancé, Bruce, "he is only second to mother, who will turn you inside out once she finds out about you bully of the ing of her future son-in-law."

The heroes quickly surrounded the teacher and Eugene, insulting and threatening them with anything and everything possible.

"You're no good, duck!" Hawkeye shouted at one point.

His boyfriend, Pietro, nodded in agreement, continuing the Vine. "You'll never be shit!"

"You're just like your father!"

Hell, even Carol and Maria, another ultimate power-couple, were throwing shade like an umbrella storm under studio lighting. It was marvellous.

Eventually, Bucky pulled his husband out of the insult circle - wordlessly pointing towards the section of the hall where a distressed Peter was being cooed over by his friends and boyfriend. "Help him, Tones."

Tony winced, turning back to the teacher and student in an attempt to flee from the prospect of dealing with emotions.

"Oh no you don't!" Bucky said, holding onto his husband's wrist. "Look at our baby spider - he needs help! He needs his dad... you."

"But I am uncertain how to... go about approaching his emotions. Like, he's a teenager! He's on a completely different mental level to me." Tony cringed, wishing he could simply join the others in threatening the teacher and Eugene Thompson.

Bucky hugged, crossing his arms. "Just do what feels natural in that tiny, itty-bitty parental heart of yours."

Ironman frowned. "Riiiight."

Bucky, now joined by Pepper, watched in silence as Tony strutted over to Peter, who was being consoled by his friends and Loki.

Peter looked at Tony, eyes full of hope for familial comforting, as his friends and boyfriend stepped away. Perhaps his father had finally gotten over the awful 'Eh, my child is fiiiiiine' tendency which he'd inherited from Howard Stark. 

Instead, Tony cringed, beginning to breakdance gently. "What's wrong, son?"

The entire hallway went silent, all eyes now on Tony, who hadn't stopped his slow, gentle breakdance.

"Oh my fucking gods, Tony!" Pepper cried, rushing over. "Just... go help the others tear those assholes apart, I'll comfort Petey."

As the woman scooped the teenager into her arms, mumbling soothing words at him, Tony strutted over to the teacher and bullying teenager. "Now listen here, fuckers! I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU REGRET EXIS-"