Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

The Halloween Haunting

Happy pre-Halloween, people! Stay safe and don't try summoning demons. It never ends well.

Ships: Shurichelle, Parley, IronStrange, Stucky, Thoruce, NatMayPepper (I can't remember their ship name, noooo!)

Warnings: Mentions of Ouija boards, demons, ghost and ghouls, swearing

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Ah, Halloween.

The one time a year Peter could go around wearing his Spider-suit mask-less without getting odd looks.

Who am I kidding, he lives in New York. He could wear literally anything and no one would bat an eye.

But Halloween was something else entirely. Halloween was special.

"Slutty playboy bunny-pumpkin in da house!" Peter screamed, bounding into the lounge room wearing an orange playboy bunny outfit, fishnet stockings, and a pumpkin root on his head instead of bunny ears.

Each Avenger turned to look at Spider-Man, some chuckling while others literally applauded his choice of outfit.

Peter's dads, Tony and Stephen, we're dressed as 'evil' versions of themselves. Basically, they had both darkened their colour schemes and put on a bunch of eyeliner.

Thor was decked out in a gorgeous, sparkly Cinderella gown - glass slippers and all. His boyfriend, Bruce, was dressed as Albert Einstein, also in a ball gown.

Loki had played it simple this year and was dressed as a vampire. So, almost exactly like usual, just with magic-created fangs and a glass of 'blood' (aka red wine).

Steve and Bucky had simply swapped costumes, going as each other. Clint, on the other hand, was Katniss Everdeen.

And last but not least, the murder trio. Natasha was dressed up as Poison Ivy, while her wives, Pepper and May, played Harley Quinn and Catwoman. They were both terrifying and gorgeous all at once.

"Where are you going dressed like that?" Nat asked, raising an eyebrow at her nephew.

"Harley, Ned, Shuri, MJ, and I are going to the school's Halloween dance, all dressed the same," Peter replied, a mischievous grin coating his face. "We're going to bring an ouija board and summon a demon."

Thor frowned at this. "I thought demons were evil? Why would you want to summon them with an Uji board?"

Before Peter could reply, Bruce held up his hand, stopping the teen. "Don't worry, I'll explain it to him. Go have fun at your party."

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Apparently, summoning a demon was not as fun is it seemed in theory.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND YOU DEMONIC FUCKWIT!" MJ roared, throwing a thick library book at the demon in question.

MJ, Shuri, Ned, Peter, and Harley were loudly flinging themselves around Midtown High, attempting to outrun the demon they summoned.

Gregorvich, the demon, was having none of this, and was actively chasing the teens.

The books seemed to do nothing to stop the demon from rounding on Shuri, forcing Peter to quickly shoot his with a web.

The demon hissed, flopping to the floor while the teens raced away.

"Everything's not coming up Milhouse!" Peter cried as they fled from the library, heading towards the cafeteria.

Because endangering civilians with a demonic creature was apparently bad, they couldn't go to the school hall. They could, however use the cafeteria's wide range of supplies to hold the demon off.

They slammed into the large white room, closing the door in an attempt to hold Gregorvich off.

"How do you get rid of demons?" Harley asked, looking from his boyfriend to his friends. "I missed this day of Science class."

"We need salt," Peter responded while the others practically cackled at Harley's response.

Ned, MJ, and Shuri nodded, heading into the kitchen while Harley and Peter kept look out for Gregorvich.

A few seconds later, Shuri shouted out from the kitchen. "There's no salt!"

"What kinda of cafeteria doesn't have salt?!" Ned cried out, stepping back into the eaty-area with the badass bitch couple of the year following quickly.

"Why don't we try holding the demon back with the salt in the food?" Shuri asked, looking around. "It might not be as potent, but still."

"Brilliant idea, babe," MJ grinned. "I call the bread rolls!"

The teens had just enough time to each grab an armful of food before the doors were flung open by Gregorvich.

"Teens!" The demon roared. "Come out at once!"

They jumped into sight, glaring at the demon with confident grins. Food was quickly sent flying across the room by the teens, attempting to hit the severely unimpressed looking demon.

Despite their training and Peter's literal superpowers, not one particle of food landed on him, which just seemed completely impossible.

After a few minutes of failing to hit him, they had run out of food.

"Uh oh," Peter mumbled, quickly extending his arms in an attempt to cover his boyfriend and friends. "Don't hurt them!"

The teens huddled together, squeezing their eyes shut as Gregorvich glided closer.

"Now, are you going to listen to me or what?" The demon asked, sounding severely unimpressed. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"You're not going to torture us and steal our souls?" Ned asked softly, opening an eye to look at the demon.

Gregorvich stayed silent for a long moment, then burst into laughter. "No? I just wanted to know where the closest Walmart is."

The teens opened their eyes, sharing a look before straightening up. Well, they definitely weren't expecting this.

"If you leave through the front entrance, turn left, take the first right, then the third left on that street, and turn right once more, you'll get to Walmart," Harley replied, looking at his boyfriend to see if that was correct.

Peter nodded in agreement - that was the route they took.

"Thanks, mah dudes," the demon replied, saluting to the teens. "Have a spooktacular Halloween."

With that, the Gregorvich was waltzing out of the cafeteria, leaving the teens in the food fight mess.

"Well, this was definitely a Halloween to remember," Shuri pointed out, getting a laugh from her girlfriend and friends.

Before anyone else could speak up, the cafeteria door were pushed open by Mr Scones, who took one look at the mess and froze.

"WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DID YOU ASSHOLES DO?!"