Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

When The Fandom Calls (pt1 of 2)

I've been procrastibaking, the process of procrastinating in the form of baking. As an apology for the rushed chapter you are about to read, please except the picture above of the worlds best cosplayer.

Please Note that Clint is in his late 20's and doesn't have a wife or kids because Hawksilver is life! Which also means that Pietro is alive.

Warnings: Swearing I think.

Ships: IronStrange, Hawksilver (it's mostly in part 2 tho) Stucky, ScarletVision,

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Peter Stark-Strange woke up fabulous.

Well, that was normal seeing as Peter Stark-Strange always woke up fabulous. But today he was more fabulous then he had ever fabulous-ed before.

Peter was practically giddy and looked ready to explode in happiness.

Putting on his favourite which consisted of a pair of black jeans, rainbow converse, a science pun T-shirt, and a crown.

Yes, a crown.

Tony Stark-Strange on the other hand was not having such a goid day.

You see ten minutes after he had begrudgingly woken up, he walked into the kitchen only to find his son standing on the bench.

The 15 year old was throwing jars of Crofters jam at the scattering Avengers. He also seemed to be yelling something at the top of his lungs.

The brunette teen pointed his finger towards his father, turning his attention away from the other heroes.

"FaLsEhOoD!" He shrieked, throwing a jar at Tony's feet.

The billionaire sighed, wishing he had died in his sleep.

After Peter had cleaned up the glass and jam, he started walking to school.

Obviously he couldn't do that without referencing Steven Universe. What a dark world would it be if Peter Parker, the most fandomy fanboy in all the world, didn't express his love for cartoons.

"If every pork chop was perfect we wouldn't have hotdogs!" He shouted, jumping down from the bench and walking off as if nothing happened.

The rest of the people on the street just stopped and stared at the 15 year old boy who had screamed about sausages.

You didn't think that was the only quote he made, did you?

When Peter Parker decides to share his love of fandoms with the world, he never ever does it half assed.

"Cookie Cat Crystal Combo powers... ACTIVATE!" He yelled, pointing at a stray cat. The cat hissed at him before disappearing into an alleyway.

Peter pouted but continued on walking, ignoring the surprised stares.

When the brunette teenager finally, and I mean FINALLY made it to his high school, he was cornered by his art teacher.

"Parker, this is important! We must speak about your newest painting. You can't paint Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter kissing, it's inappropriate!" The old lady hissed, poking him harshly with her pointy index finger.

Peter really didn't like his art teacher. She never understood his references or quotes, which made what he said next much funnier.

"No, have you seen my pants? They're also very important."

She looked down quickly to make sure he was definitely wearing pants. "Young man I don't know what sick games you are trying to play but you must start listening!"

"I can't just start listening now, I'd be lost! Just like my pants..."

She growled, obviously annoyed by his words, before pushing past him. The moment the old bat disappeared Ned and MJ emerged from the shadows like Nico di Angelo.

MJ smirked at Peter, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. "Whats up loser?"

"Other then the roof, nothing much." Peter said back, sticking his tongue out at her.

"What did the real life version of Ms Dodds want?" Ned asked, worried that the nasty teacher would murder his best friend.

"It doesn't realy matter. The bell is about to go and as much as I would like to skip, we must attend classes." Peter said, pulling them both into a hug before letting go.

"I have some children I gotta make into corpses!" Peter called as he walked away from a confused Ned and chuckling MJ.

Ned and MJ both had English and Math on the other side of the school, which was really annoying to Peter since he couldn't sit with them during the morning sessions.

It was about two and a half hours later when Peter referenced Gravity Falls again.

After finishing up their Math class, the teacher had said something along ths lines of 'I'll see you next Tuesday, class!" which Peter grinned at.

"Until' then I'll be watching you... I'LL BE WATCHING YOU!" Peter shouted, pushing himself out of the classroom while sitting in a cleaning cart.

The teacher and his classmates, who all had no clue where the cart had come from or when Peter had climbed into it, stared at him in shock.

Flash, who hadn't been in his English or Math classes, much to Peter's delight, approached him the moment he climbed out of the cart. "Oi, Penis Parker! How 'bout you just give me your lunch money and save most of your ugly mug from getting uglier, hmm?"

"How 'bout I reverse the functions of every hole on your face." Peter said, somehow holding a straight face.

The way Peter had pronounced 'about' could be taken as an insult to Flash, who was just standing there like a deer in headlights, as Peter didn't usually speak like that.

"Freaked out are you bambi? Well I have something else for you..." Peter trailed off as he reached into his jacket pocket.

"Deer teeth! For you, kid!" Peter shouted, smiling brightly as he pulled a handful of deer teeth.

Tony had said that Peter would never need a hanful of deer teeth but Peter had ignored him. He also said it was gross and immoral, which it was, but that's not the point.

The moment Flash saw the pearly white teeth a loud girlish shriek could be heard all the way at Avengers tower.