Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Young Peter Pt 2 of 3

Warnings: None-eth of eths.

Ships: Stucky, IronStrange, BlackPepper (NatashaxPepper)

I have a question for a possible future chapter. What Hogwarts house do you guys think Peter and Wade would be sorted into?

Slytherin

Gryffindor

Hufflepuff

Ravenclaw

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Peter looked at the hotdog sitting in his palm in disgust. Who knew how many infectious disease contaminated the sausage alone, let alone the sauces and bun!

Looking up he almost puked. His Uncle Clint was stuffing another hotdog into his mouth as if he hadn't eaten in days, which was not true.

"Something wrong, kiddo?" Clint questioned, mouth full of half eaten food.

"Yes. I will not be eating this, this, monstrosity!" The six year old exclaimed while holding out the hotdog to his Uncle.

Clint looked confused. "What's wrong with it? We just bought it."

"What's wrong with it? What's wrong with it?! Are you trying to kill me? We just bought it from the same gas station that admitted that they reuse coffee cups!"

"What's wrong with that?"

"They only have paper cups!" Peter shouted, passing the food to his Uncle and grabbing out hand disinfectant.

"Okay, okay, what about if I go back in and get you some sushi?" Clint asked, not understanding what the fuss was about. He ate gass station food every day and was almost completly healthy.

Peter looked at him in horror. "That's even worse!"

"Fine, lets just go home and I'll make you some fish fingers. Also, I'm eating your hotdog." Clint said, taking a bite of the second sausage.

——————

Pietro and Wanda burst into Peter's room, waking that boy up way too early.

"Sibling day! Sibling day! Sibling day!" They shouted, Wanda running to the closet in order to pick something out for Peter while Peitro found his shoes.

Peter, who was now awake and slightly grumpy, raised his left eyebrow at them. "While I am delighted that you have awoken me so early, we are not biological siblings, nor do we have the same adoptive parent/parents."

Wanda walked out of the closet, holding a red shirt with small blue spiders on it, blue shorts, a blue bowtie and red socks. "Of course we aren't, silly, but we see you as the little brother we have both always wanted!"

Her older twin nodded in agreement, smiling happily.

"It just wouldn't be sibling day without you!" He exclaimed, pulling him out of bed and pushing him into the onsuite with his clothes.

"Get dressed and meet us downstairs for sibling day breakfast!" Wanda shouted, leaving the room with Pietro in tow.

"Stupid superpowered Homo-Sapiens, thinking they can wake me up at 2 in the morning." Peter grumbled, pulling on his clothes. 

By the time he was ready and had traveled a few floors down, the two had caused so much racket that all of the super-heroes in the tower were awake. The angry, overpowered superhumans were standing in the kitchen, growling at the two siblings.

Tony looked at thim with bloodshot eyes, having only been asleep for 15 minutes. "You two are both grounded. Get to your rooms right now. Look! You've even woken Peter up!"

Peter was taken back to bed by a tired Stephen and a cranky Tony, both of which fell asleep on his floor.

Peter, being the adorable smol bean that he is, draped his blanket over his fathers and slid pillows under their heads before laying between them. The three of them then slept until well after 10AM.

——————

Nick Fury stared at the boy with his one good eye. In return Peter stared at the pirate with his large brown ones.

Peter had been left with Fury while the Avengers went on a mission. Pepper would have usually looked after the 6 year old but she was in France for a conference.

"What would you like to do kid?" Nick's gruff voice asked.

Peter didn't even have to think, answering immediately. "We must talk to your agents about their hygiene immediately. The rating of mould that I got when testing one of the break room fridges was astounding."

Fury looked at the boy, raising one of his eyebrows. "When did have time to test for mould?"

"I have my ways." He said as mischievous smirk danced upon his lips.

"You are one interesting child Peter." Fury stated simply, wanting to evaluate his responses.

"Thank you. By the way, you have been promoted to close family members. I now dub you Grandpa Fury!" The boy said happily.

A smile smile lit up Nick's face. "I'd like that, Kid."

————

Peter sat at the kitchen table, staring at his Pops, Stephen, with unblinking eyes. The sorcerer stared back.

"Hey Pops, did you know that you drink 136 teaspoons of sugar a day?" The six year old questioned.

Stephen took a long sip of his tea, a cup that contained 2 teaspoons of the devils cocaine. "No. No, I did not know that."

The brown haired genius looked at his Pops, then at the cup of tea. "We will need to speak about your tea addiction soon."

"What do you mean 'addiction', this is only my 2nd cup today!" Stephen cried as his son got up from the table.

The boy rolled his eyes and started walking out of the room. "Whatever Pops, we both know that that's your 18th cup."