Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Snooping With Spidey

Basically, Tony gives EDITH to Peter as a birthday present, because I'm not letting IronDad die. EVER. Peter goes snooping through people's web history.

Ships: Shurichelle, Parley, IronStrange

Warnings: Browser history snooping, swearing, threats of death,

——————

"Peter, my son, light of my life, one of the few reasons I live," Tony announced, storming into Peter's bedroom at 4am, "I bestow upon you an object of grave importance and worth, my darling child."

Peter, who had jumped onto the ceiling out of fright, stared down at one of his fathers, tired and annoyed. "First of all - what the fuck? Secondly, you could just say 'Happy Birthday, here's your gift' like a normal person, dad."

"Coulda, shoulda, woulda," Tony replied, shrugging.

Peter sighed, flopping from the roof and onto his bed before getting up to take the gift.

Tony handed him a glasses case, with a pair of square glasses on the inside. "May I present you with EDITH - your new best friend."

"Glasses?" Peter murmured, taking the glasses case, looking down at them in confusion. His dad wouldn't just give him glasses, that wasn't Tony Stark-Strange's style. "What do they do?"

Ironman smirked. "Take them to school tomorrow, then fuck around and find out. Anyway, go back to sleep, the birthday parade doesn't start till 5:53am."

"Thank you?" Peter called out as his dad disappeared from the room, leaving the teen all alone.

"EDITH, huh?" Peter mumbled to himself, staring at the glasses. "Not the weirdest birthday gift I've gotten. No one can beat Uncle Thor's crab meat mittens..."

——————

"How was your birthday yesterday, dude?" Ned asked, coming to a stop besides his bestfriend, trailed by the other members of their friend group.

Ned, MJ, Harley, Wade, and Eddie had celebrated his birthday two days prior, as Peter's actual birthday was family only (aka, the Avengers, Loki, Pepper, Aunt May, Happy, Rhodey, T'Challa, the Guardians of the Galaxy, and Fury). Both events included Shuri, of course, but her presence was a chaotic given.

"Pretty good," Peter replied, shrugging. "Up until Shuri arrived with the cantaloupe bazooka and deer petting zoo, then set my bedroom on fire."

Ned, MJ, Harley, Wade, and Eddie all turned to look at Shuri, sent them a mischievous grin. "What? Someone had to bring the party!"

"What did you get?" Harley asked, sling an arm around his boyfriend's shoulder.

"A small country near Italy, which I have henceforth named Lil' Petey, a truck full of Vegemite, lava lamp floor tiles, and some other stuff," Peter shrugged nonchalantly, sending his friends a light smile. "Oh, and these glasses."

"Glasssesssss," His friend cried, re-enacting a scene from one of their favourite Brandon Rogers videos.

"No, but seriously, what do they do?" Eddie asked, peering down at the glasses now in Peter's hand.

Peter frowned, slipping them on. "I don't know, dad just said to fuck around and find out."

Nothing happened.