Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Inside The Stone

Daaaaaaaaamn, this is a short chapter. And a mess. Mostly a mess.

The meme doesn't relate to this chapter at all but it's so me.

Ships: IronStrange

Warnings: Stabbing, swearing (I think), so forth

————

Tony Stark-Strange wasn't dealing with the snap well.

It had been six months since he'd lost his husband and adopted son in a matter of minutes, then was stuck stranded in space with Nebula (who he emotionally adopted) for over twenty days. Mentally, physically, and emotionally, he was a mess.

As such, it was no surprise that he could be found in Stark Tower's kitchen with the other mourning heroes, eating a mass amount of sugary foods.

"...so I very nearly got married to a Giant and Loki never let me live it down." Thor explained, cheeks streaked with tears as he ate his fifteenth poptart in a row.

"Damn, dude," Scott replied, patting the god on the shoulder. "That wedding sounds beautiful."

"It was, I was the most beautiful bride," Thor practically wailed, turning to sob into Natasha's shoulder.

"You know what we need? Margari-" Before Tony could continue, the familiar sound of sparks caught his attention.

A sound which he'd heard thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of times.

The sound of a portal being opened.

Everyone jumped to their feet as a large portal appeared, and Drax, Mantis, Groot, and Peter Quill stepped into the kitchen.

Clint gaped at the four guardian's, who were definitely dusted the last time he checked. "What the fu-"

"DAD!"

"TONY!"

Peter and Stephen Stark-Strange pushed through the returned guardians, flinging themselves onto the alarmed billionaire.

"Stephen, Peter?" Tony rasped, looking at his husband and son, not sure if he should believe his eyes.

"It's really us, Tones, it's really us," Stephen soothed as he hugged his husband forcefully.

"How did you get out?!" Natasha cried, flinging her arms around her nephew.

"Apparently, Thanos had to hear everything that was said in the stone and YOUR," Stephen said pointedly, glaring at Tony, "son drove him Insane."

There was a long moment of silence, then a synchronised 'What?' came from the non-dusted heroes.

"So Shuri - the absolutely AWESOME princess of Wakanda - and I started singing 2 million bottles of infinity stone juice on the wall. Be got down to 1 million, 2 hundred and thirty-three thousand, five hundred and seven bottles, and Mr Thanos started crying and let us out!" Peter beamed, clapping his hands together.

"What about the others?" Bruce asked, looking at the recently un-dusted heroes.

"Everyone's been brought back, but all those that fought against Thanos, and your families, are heading into the training room right now through portals," Stephen replied.

"He also brought back Gamora, the Wakanda warriors who died, Vision, Loki, the Asgardians, and the other members of your crew, Mr Thor, sir," Peter replied brightly. "Mr Thanos said that he couldn't have any of you using me as a torture device to force him to bring them back, if that makes sense? And he gave me this snake to give to you!"

The teenager happily handed the reptile over to Thor, who frowned deeply. Before the god could open his mouth, the snake transitioned back into human-Loki, who stabbed his brother in the stomach.

"Bleh! We meet again brother!" Loki cried, falling to the floor as Thor dropped him.

"MY BROTHER HAS RETURNED!" Thor shouted, clutching his wound.

"You know what this calls for!" Peter cried, clapping his hands together.

Stephen's eyes went wide in horror. "No, Peter, don't-"

"Two million bottles of stab wounds on the wall. Two million bottles of stab wounds! Take one down, pass it around. One million nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine stab wounds on the wall!"

Stephen let out a light sob, extending his arms and looking hopefully at the roof. "Send me back to the soul stone!"