Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Consorting At The Carnival

Mere Christmas Eve Eve!

This is a request by Foosball342 and I'm so so sorry for how long it had taken!

Ships: Shurichelle, Stony, SpideyPool

Warnings: Swearing, stalking, carnival related things (I think this could be triggering)

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Fury slamming the assortment of thick, heavy folders onto the table in front of the Avengers. "I have reason to believe that one of your workers - Stark - is consorting with one of the most dangerous potential villains of our time; Deadpool."

"It's Stark-Rogers now, if you did not get the memo." Tony said, unimpressed.

Fury rolled his eyes. "Please, curb your bitch. The whole world got the memo."

"Uhm, isn't Deadpool an anti-hero, not a villain?" Clint asked, raising his hand like a school child.

"Yeah, didn't he help us defeat that hoard of mutant, human brain hungry kangaroos the other week?" Bucky added, mumbling the second part. "Was reaaal friendly with a certain teenage superhero of ours..."

"That's why I said potential villain." Fury sighed, rolling his eyes - not hearing the second part of what Bucky had to say. "He may be helpful now, but it's either Hero, civilian, or villain in the long run."

"The lines do blur, Nick. You must admit that." Steve replied, unimpressed by the eye patch man's disregard of everything in between.

Thor nodded frantically, agreeing with his blonde teammate. "Brother Loki is a combination of hero and villain. Yes, he did try to take over this world, and has done an assortment of bad things both here and on Asgard - but he has saved a lot of people from a lot of pain."

"Po-tay-toe, po-tah-toe." Fury waved the comment away. "Now, we were able to find a series of messages between an unknown device that has been in this building recently, and Deadpool's newest phone number."

"So, why is this an issue?" Natasha asked, continuing to file her nails with a knife sharp enough to cut through thick metal.

Fury sighed, like he was a kindergarten teacher talking to a swarm of annoying children. "Because, if Deadpool goes bad, he'll have someone on the inside - which is a security risk to all of us."

The Avengers shared a look, before let out a joint groan. Bruce spoke up, unimpressed but understanding Nick's perspective. "Fine, what so we do."

"We got intel that Deadpool, and this mystery person, will be meeting up at the carnival in two hours. We go there, we find out who the person is, what their relationship with Deadpool is, then Stark fires them." Fury stated, looking around at the heroes.

"Then let's get as many heroes as possible to help us. Plus, the Guardians have been wanting to go to a carnival for, well forever."  Clint exclaimed.

Fury nodded, handing each of them a picture of Deadpool, unmasked. "Fine. We'll meet up at the entrance in exactly two ours and ten minutes."

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"Where's Peter?" Gamora asked, looking around the large group of heroes. Everyone from the Avengers and the Guardians, to Loki and Black Panther, were present.

They were all dressed in normal clothes, and the Guardians that did not look human, where hidden by Loki's 'Pfft, I'm perfectly normal, turn your gaze away before I birch slap you' mist (which he totally didn't steal from the Percy Jackson books).

"He's here, but on a double date with my sister and her girlfriend, according to Shuri at least." T'Challa replied, gesturing towards the large carnival.

"He's on a date?!" Steve and Tony exclaimed, eyes wide. T'Challa shrugged, going to respond but was cut off by Fury.

"You can interrogate your son later, for now, we have to find Deadpool and his associate." Fury explained. "So, split up into groups or go alone, but I expect to have a name, relationship status, and an assortment of pictures by the time you get back."

As Fury and the rest of the heroes disappeared into carnival, Bucky sighed deeply. "Oblivious fuckers."

It seemed that only he had noticed that Wade and Peter were a bit more than friends.

"Bucky, are you coming?!" Clint and Nat shouted, getting a call of affirmation from the Winter Solider, who ran off to join them.

Let's just say that taking a bunch of heroes who had horrible attention spans to a bright, colourful, and distraction filled place, was not good for this particular mission.

Within minutes, Starlord, Thor, and Drax were enthralled by the carnival games, unable to stop themselves from spending huge amounts of Tony and Steve's money on throwing balls into clowns mouths and darts at balloons.

Steve, Clint, and Tony, were next to go, as they got caught up in the monster truck rally. Well, Steve and Clint were. Tony was telling the drivers that they really needed to upgrade the engines to the new Stark tech model.

Rocket and Groot disappeared to play bumper carts, where they viciously beat all the other children (which is what the mist had made them out to be).

T'Challa, Loki, and Bucky, however, were riding in the now high-speed carousel, which Loki had magically tinkered with.

Natasha, Gamora, Nebula, and Mantis lasted the longest at thirty minutes, but fell entrances by the churro stall the moment they caught sight of it.

However, their fun was over nearly an hour into the mission, when Fury realised they hadn't stayed on task.

"Testing, testing... 1, 2, 3." Fury's voice called across the speaker. "If you don't get me a picture in five minutes, I'm dyeing your hair bubblegum pink, you assholes!"

The groups of heroes from all over the park, excluding Deadpool and Spider-Man, neither of whom had even noticed the announcement, exchanged worried glances.

Within minutes, they were in one large group, searching the carnival crowd for any sign of the blonde Anti-hero.

Instead, however, Tony caught sight of something else.

"Is that... Peter?" Tony gasped, the assortment of heroes murmuring in confusion.

Perhaps thirty feet away was a large line of people waiting for the Ferris wheel, with Peter standing at the front. However, Peter was not the only person of interest who was waiting for that ride.

Deadpool, holding two large cups of soft drink, had stopped right next to Peter Stark-Rogers, who was clutching a giant pink teddy bear almost the size of him.

Spider-Man smiled up at the other teenage superhuman, who smiled back and gave the teen a light peck on the lips. Mere moments later they were allowed on the Ferris Wheel, and were out of sight of the gapping heroes.

Shuri and MJ, who had come up behind the group, took a long sip of their drinks before speaking in sync. "Didn't know they were dating, huh?"

That's when Steve passed out, with Tony letting out a loud shout that caught everyone in the vicinities attention. "MY SON IS DATING DEADPOOL?!"