Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

You Either Kill Yourslef Or Get Killed (What ya gonna do?)

This chapter was requested by @JustABunchOfAnxiety and, while the main request is above, the next message with the ships in it has been cut off.

One more thing! I'd like to start writing more ships so I'd like to know if you guys are interested in seeing any of the following:

Peter x Harley

Peter x Ned

Friday x Karen (idk how but I'll make it work)

Natasha x Maria Hill

Loki x the Grandmaster (what? I thought they had chemistry!)

Peter x Flash

Peter x Eddie Brock (He's Venom if you didn't already know, and don't worry, I'd de-age Eddie to a teenager)

Tony x Bucky

Bucky x Loki

Also, comment here any other gay ships (not Starker, though) that you'd like to see.

Ships: Spideypool, IronStrange

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of attempting to commit suicide by jumping off a building (please read the request and decide whether you'd like to precede or not! Though I can't really write angst so this chapter is mainly just vines...)

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The streets of New York were strangely quiet for 1 am on a Thursday morning. There was only a hand full of people scattered around, very few cars were on the road, and everything was quiet.

Everything except for a group of weirdly dressed people sauntering down the streets aimlessly. These people all seemed drunk, high or just naturally crackhead-y. They also seemed to vary in emotions.

Take Shuri, the princess of Wakanda, for example. She was pissed. "What the fuck, Richard?! You ate all my skittles!"

Clint, another example, was defensive. "I didn't take any of your bitch ass skittles! I have my delicious Oreos!"

Loki was smug, smirking evilly as he shovelled Shuri's rainbow candies into his mouth.

"Peter, tell this fucking idiot to give me back my skittles or die!" Shuri shouted, pointing at Hawkeye.

Peter cringed, giving himself multiple double chins. "I can't. When there's too much drama at school all I gotta do is walk away-ay-ay!"

Shuri pouted, turning her dramatic-ness towards her girlfriend. "Okay... MJ! Babe! Defend me, the love of your life, from this evil villainous scoundrel!"

"I would," MJ mused, "but then I wouldn't be able to draw you in my crisis book."

"How about you, Wade?" Shuri asked, crowding her arms.

Wade simply smirked. "No can do, Princess. I promised my baby boy that I wouldn't pluck any birds this evening."

Shuri sighed, turning her puppy dog eyes towards Ned.

Ned shook his head frantically. "No can do! Clint'll lay eggs on my bed, again!"

"You do know that Clint is not a chicken, right? Or a bird at all!" Stephen Stark-Strange asked, frowning in confusion.

Tony gasped, eyes wide. "Is that why there's always eggs in the fridge, even when we're out of everything else?!"

Stephen face palmed at Tony's blatant disregard of his words, making Peter giggle at his fathers.