Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Houdini

This ones kinda short because I didn't feel like writing anything more than this.

Warning ⚠️: Swearing.

Summary: Peter somehow gets a goat named Houdini and the Avengers don't like him.

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It all started 2 weeks into May Parker's vacation. Her nephew, Peter Parker, was staying with the Genius, Billionaire, (no longer) Playboy, and Philanthropist, Tony Stark-Strange.

Tony and his husband Stephen Stark-Strange, were like a second family to Peter and all of them couldn't be happier.

Everything was going smoothly, no villains trying to kill half the universe, no vegetables coming to life and eating people. Nothing weird.

Until Tony walked into Peter's room.

"Kid, why the fuck is there a goat in your room?" Tony yelled out, coming face to face with a white mountain goat sitting in the bathroom sink.

"Leave Houdini alone!"

"Peter, why the fuck has your goat got a miniature version of my cloak?" Stephen screamed, having a mini heart attack at seeing the creature.

"Leave Houdini alone!"

"Spider-Child, why is your goat wearing a small version of my helmet?" Loki said simply, raising an eyebrow at Peter. Truthfully, Loki didn't care.

"Leave Houdini alone!"

"Peter, why the fuck does your goat have a metal leg?" Bucky shouted, doing a double take as he saw the goat's metal leg.

"Leave Houdini alone!"

"Mini Stark, why the fuck does your goat have a birds nest like mine?" Clint asked, confused as he stared at Houdini sitting in his nest of sticks.

"Leave Houdini alone!"

"Man of Spiders, why does your pet Loki have a small mijonor?" Asked Thor, who was looking at Peter's 'pet Loki.' Who was laying on the couch, playing with his toy hammer-

"Leave Houdini alone!"

"And my shield?" -and a toy Captain America shield-

"Leave Houdini alone!"

"And some of my old daggers?"  -and a bunch of real daggers.

"Leave Houdini alone!"

"Peter, why does your animal have on purple pants?" The scientist questioned the teen, who was making kissey faces at the goat.

"Leave Houdini alone!"

"Annoyance Jnr, why does your large horned rat have a small, working version of my wings?" Sam asked with a frown, looking at Houdini in disgust.

"Leave Houdini alone!"

"Okay guys, we've got to get rid of Houdini." Tony said, laying folders in front of everybody in the meeting room.

Loki raised his signature eyebrow it the Billionaire. "I don't see the problem with Peter's pet. I find him quite lovely."

"You only like him because he's like your twin. He called the goat Uncle Clint the other day. What am I, chopped liver? And what about you, Stephen! He called Houdini 'Mum' that day again." Clint sobbed, being comforted by Bruce.

Natasha rolled her eyes but on the inside she was also upset. "What if we say that Houdini is going to a farm upstate?" She asked with a smirk, thinking about getting rid of the animal forever.

"Or we could just send it to T'Challa, I mean he has goats in Wakanda, right?" Said Tony, who just wanted the goat gone.

Stephen frowned before saying "I think we should just leave Peter be. The novelty of having Houdini will we're off sooner or later."

The Avengers nodded in agreement before shaking each other's hands and going their separate ways. The goat would stay, for now at least.

The next morning Peter burst into the common room, his eyes were red and he had dried tears streaming down his face.

"Houdini's gone! I checked the cameras and he just disappeared!" The 15 year old cried, distraught over the missing animal.

Peter continued crying every now and again saying something like "He's an escape goat!" Or "He just up and disappeared!"

After a while Peter was taken back to his room and every eye turned towards Stephen.

A dark looked covered the sorcerer's face. "No one, and I mean no one, takes away my spot as Peter's Mother. No. One."