Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

When The Fandom Calls (pt2 of 2)

Please Note that Clint is in his late 20's and doesn't have a wife or kids because Hawksilver is life! Which also means that Pietro is alive.

Warnings: Swearing I think.

Ships: IronStrange, Hawksilver (it's mostly in part 2 tho) Stucky, ScarletVision.

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The brunette superhero giggled satanically as he looked at the horrified bully trembling before him. He didn't feel any remorse as he turned around and skipped off towards the caffeteria for lunch.

The principal, Mr Howards, took notice of Peter's hyper attitude when the teen raced down the halls. "Hold your horses, it's not like your friends are going to turn to dust while you walk to the cafeteria."

"I'll hold my horses. I'll hold them. You monster." Peter cried, glaring at the balding man as he ran past.

Mr Howards sighed and walked back to the office. He had realised the last time Peter had started spewing random refrences that it was best to just call Peter's parents to pick him up.

So that's what he did.

Peter was halfway through lunch when the office called him up. Before he left, the teenager decided to refrence Bill Cipher one last time.

Grabbing his water bottle he smirked at his friends. "I'm going to drink it like a human."

He sqwirted the water all over his face before running out of the cafeteria, leaving his friends to die of laughter on the dirty floor.

The teen soon found himself in the back of one of his father's mulitple expensive cars. Happy, who had picked him up, held back a laugh as he looked at the drenched, slightly glittery teen.

Where the glitter had come from nobody knows.

"How-" Happy was inturrupted quickly, Peter having taken this opertunity to show his love for musicals.

"-does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a
Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten
Spot in the Caribbean by Providence, impoverished, in squalor
Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?" Peter sung purposely very off key.

The head of security stared at Peter for a few seconds before opening his mouth. Happy had wanted to say something along the lines of 'The hell was that?!' but, once again, he was interrupted.

"The-" Happy tried to started, but he did not succeed.

"-demon queen of high school has decreed it
She says Monday, 8am I will be deleted
They'll hunt me down in study hall
Stuff and mount me on the wall
Thirty hours to live, how shall I spend them?
I don't have to stay and die like cattle
I could change my name and ride up to Seattle
But I don't own a motorbike
Wait, here's an option that I like
Spend these thirty hours getting freaky!" Peter cried, throwing his hands in the air.

Happy gave up trying to talk to Peter after that.

The rest of the car ride was uneventful, other then the fact that Peter screamed bloody murder when he looked and the window and saw a double rainbow.

"Where's He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named?" Peter asked, walking into the kitchen after arriving at the tower. No, the teen was not refering to a certain noseless fiend, but his father, Stephen Stark-Strange, instead.

Bucky and Steve both looked at him confused, still not having watched Harry Potter.

"I-I have no idea... What... Who's 'He-Who-Must-Bot-He-Named'?" Bucky questioned, he had not been this confused since he first heard Natasha reference Budapest.