Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Pepperoni Nipples

No Endgame spoilers (because I hadn't watched Endgame when I wrote this) but I feel like this is how it should have ended. This is also a crack chapter.

I wasn't going to post anything for a couple more days but I have 145 hearts and 3k reads and I'm almost hyperventilating. Wow. Just wow. All I can say is wow. Thank you all so so so much!

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Thanos and his vast army stood on one side of the large, galactic parking lot, staring down the other side.

All of the heroes, including the ones that turned to dust and where brought back somehow, returned Thanos's slightly creepy stare.

Tony looked at the army around him before speaking. "We need a distraction."

A giant grin covered Peter's masked face as he raised his hand frantically.

Tony looked around, praying for someone else to think of something, but nobody put up their hands. "Yes, Peter?"

"Give me five minutes and I'll give you the best distraction in the history of time." Spider-Man said excitedly.

"Okay, kid, but this is our one shot." Tony agreed, watching as Peter ran away in glee. 

"Are we really putting our lives in the hand of the teenager?" Steve asked, unsure what to think of Spider-Man.

Exactly 5 minutes later Peter ran back into the outer space parking lot, distracting both sides.

It didn't take long for the heroes to snap out of it but Thanos and his army seemed to have been so shook that they turned to stone.

Now your probably wondering how Peter Parker turned Thanos to stone by just running, and the truth is that that wasn't just it.

Peter ran into the parking lot, shirt missing with slices of pepperoni taped to his chest.

If that wasn't enough he was also yelling "Pepperoni nippppplllllleeeeesssss!" as he went.

Thanos never terrorised people ever again and Peter ate the pepperoni.