Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Spiders...

Woohoo, bitches! I won a 'secondary merit award for student success' in both my English and History classes! I knew all those hours spent on my assessments were worth it!

Like I mentioned in the last chapter, this is the second out of 3 requests from madiijohnsonn and the third will come out within the next couple of days... ish. This also, unintentionally, Kinda differs from the request at the end.

Sorry it's taking so long to publish lately, I have to prioritise my assessments over my writing and I'm having a bit of trouble with the workload.

Ships: IronStrange

Warnings: Swearing (like LOTS of swearing), lots of Spiders.

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The annoying sound of utensils scrapping against plates, news paper pages being turned, and obnoxious open mouth chewing filled the kitchen.

The Avengers, including a pop-tart crazy Thor, a half asleep Tony and Bruce, a very grumpy Bucky, a nauseatingly cheerful Steve, a pissed off Natasha and Loki, a sugar hyped Clint, and a weirded out Stephen, were eating breakfasts at the large kitchen table.

A usual day for the Avengers, right?

Wrong!

Something very strange had happen that morning. Peter had woken up well before dawn (which was astounding considering he usually either didn't sleep or slept in until midday) and left the tower with only a simple note.

And the note was fucking blank.

Just a piece of folded paper laying on his pillow, no writing whatsoever.

But his father's didn't really care. As long as he returned before his curfew at night, ate 3 meals a day, didn't do drugs other then marijuana, didn't smoke cigarettes, and didn't get himself or others injured, he could do whatever he wanted.

"It's rather quiet this morning, do not thou think?" Thor slurred, his mouth full of Pop-Tart pieces.

Loki rolled his eyes at his brother's language choices. "Thor, it's you not thou."

"Thou is trying to trick me but thou never shall!" The god of thunder yelled, yeeting an empty Pop-Tart box at Loki's forehead.

The god of Mischief just sighed, dropping his head onto the table with a loud bang.

"The reason why it's so quiet is because Peter is missing." Steve said, looking up from his disgustingly bland and healthy breakfast.

All eyes turned towards Tony and Stephen, who just shrugged. They were Peter's parents not his personal body guards. They didn't need to be with him all the time.

"The next person who speaks get a fork in each eye." Bucky growled out, he was always grump until he had his morning bowl of plums and whipped cream.

"Bitch please! I will talk when I wanna talk." Loki spat back, glaring at the ex Winter Soldier.

Bucky turned to Thor, who was completely ignoring their conversation. "Thor, if you don't stop your brother from being an asshole, imma beat his ass."

"Fine, fucker! You wanna go? Let's go!" The god of mischief shouted, jumping up from his seat and slamming his hands onto the table.

"My money's on Loki." Clint whispered to Nat, looking at the two villains turned heroes in amusement.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Bucky's obviously going to win."

During this commotion Bruce had half woken up, grumbling and groaning as he attempted to fall back asleep on the kitchen table.