Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

The Woolworths Wedding (ft. Spidervenom)

This chapter was a request by Fairy_Diamond_34 and I greatly apologise for how long it's taken! I hope this wedding was worth the wait!

Yes, that's right - I'm doing another wedding. Move over SpideyPool, SpiderFrost, BlackPepper and maybe MayPepper (if you count the small fragment of one); it's SpiderVenom's turn.

My wedding writing is just getting worse and worse... And I didn't realise until after I'd written this chapter that Woolworths is Australian and other countries might not know what it is. It's basically a chain grocery store (like Coles, or Aldi).

Ships: SpiderVenom, Shurichelle, BlackPepper, Ironstrange

Warnings: Swearing, Karens, Donald Trump, holy water mentions (idk?),

—————————

Who thought that a relationship between two nineteen-year-old males would reach the point of marriage so soon?

Much less one of the pair being in a symbiotic relationship with an eternally hungry, slime-like alien, and the other with billionaire adopted fathers and superpowers provided by a radioactive spider.

A lot of people, probably, but they were, and they were anxious.

"Where the fuck are the Woolworths employee cosplayers?!" Peter shouted into his walkie talkie.

A few moments later, Tony's frantic voice and the shrieking of an angry Stephen came from the walkie talkie. "Over by the sticky wet floor sign."

"Perfect." Peter sighed, relaxing slightly before his eyes landed on the nearby priest. "Why the double fuck is the priest not wearing Woolworths green!"

Peter's soon-to-be husband, Eddie Brock, rounded a corner, chuckling. "Calm down, love... why aren't you getting ready, anyway?"

"The wedding planner just quit." Peter responded, hissing slightly.

Eddie let out a deep laugh. "Good, she was such a fucking Karen. Dressed like one, acted like one, spoke like one. She was just one big Karen red flag."

Natasha and Pepper rounded one of the isles, quickly walking over to the two teenagers. "Boys, go get ready for your wedding," Pepper began, "we'll deal with the wedding nonsense."

A look of relief covered Spider-Man's face as he handed over a small folder of documents. "Thank you."

"No problem, now go get ready for your big day!" Natasha exclaimed, making a shooing motion with her hands.

"Okay!" Peter laughed, shaking his head in amusement.

Eddie grinned. "Sure, I'mma go get food first, though. A certain parasite is hungry."

"HUNGRY." A voiced hissed loudly from Eddie's shoulder, making him snort in amusement. "And that's my cue! Seeya!"

As Eddie strutted off towards the hot food area, Peter took a few deep breaths to calm himself before joining his friends in dressing up area.

The Woolworths themed wedding they were having - paired with the assortment of food venders in the parking lot, the Avengers themed Ferris wheel just to the left of the entrance, and the firework display - was going to be a very large occasion, much to the teens' dismay.

Apparently, everyone wanted to attend the weddings of superheroes, and were threatening physical violence unless more people were allowed to attend. Which is why they now had 300 attending guests, instead of the 30-40 people they'd originally wanted.

So yeah, Peter was a bit stressed.

"Peter!" Shuri cried, standing next to her girlfriend and Ned. "Where have you been?!"