Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

Peter Eloped In Europe?!

Note: This takes place during Spider-Man Far From Home. Infinity War and Endgame did not happen, Tony and Stephen get married, so do Natasha, Pepper and May. Morgan doesn't exist, but Peter is adopted by Tony and Stephen.

Thor and the Guardians are spending time on Earth (specifically in Stark Tower), Loki isn't dead, the rouges are back in the Avengers, etc. Basically the same as usual!

Ships: IronStrange, SpiderFrost (Loki and Peter are the same age in this - 18), PepperMayTasha, Shurichelle

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of witchcraft, mentions of a heart attack/jail, far too cheesy cheesiness

————

"The plane is running late," Steve pointed out as the Avengers and Co. waited impatiently in New York's airport.

There was a mumble of agreement from the earth and outer-space based heroes, all of whom were extremely tired due to the late hour.

Due to time-zone differences, it was nearing midnight and all the heroes had had a worryingly long day stopping bank robberies and muggings in Queens. This was because Peter hated leaving the city defenceless, so he'd practically begged the other to help out while he was gone.

As such, all the heroes had a new, more in-depth appreciation for Peter's work ethic now.

Furthermore, Thor, Bruce, the Guardians of the Galaxy, Clint, Natasha, Bucky, Steve, T'Challa, Pepper, May, Tony, and his husband Stephen, along with a handful of paparazzi, and the families of Peter's classmates, were all waiting for the class's arrival.

Peter and his class, along with Shuri (she wasn't even technically allowed to go but a kindly worded threat to the principal had her on the list), had gone on a two week vacation across Italy, the Czech Republic, and England, with a few stops in places like Austria and Germany.

From the few phone calls that Shuri had started, then hung up moments later, the trip was not going to plan. At all.

"There they are!" A little girl from one of the families called, pointing to where a swarm of people were coming out of the terminal.

Not a student nor a teacher of Midtown could be seen. Instead, people coming off of the plane were just your average, ordinary plane goers.

Now the waiters were getting worried.

They stared wordlessly as not a single person exited the terminal, until the first familiar face could be seen.

A slow trickle of almost mournful looking teenager came towards those waiting for them.

Abe, Betty, Flash, MJ, Ned, Shuri, along with the others came first, then the two teachers. Shock and horror was a common trend across their faces, and it was remarkably alarm to the concerned waiters.

Especially since there was no sign of Peter.

The teenagers and teachers begin separating up - everyone heading off to their families except for MJ, Ned, Shuri, and the teachers.

No one said a word - not even a greeting or an 'I missed you'. There was just silence.

"Okay, what the fuck is going on?" Tony called out eventually, looking at the new arrivals.

"Yeah, where's our son?" Stephen demanded, lips pursed in confusion and fear.

One of the teachers - Roger Harrington - walked over to the group of Avengers, looking both fearful and apologetic. "I'm so, so, so sorry. We tried to have the contract canceled but it didn't work."

"Everything's legal, there was nothing we could do," the other teacher - Julius Dell, or 'Witch Enthusiast Number 1' as Tony liked to call him, added.

May stepped forward, her wives Pepper and Natasha following suit. "Where is my nephew?! He better not be in jail - that precious child will be torn apart!"

"No, no, no!" Shuri tried to sooth, stepping forward with Ned and her girlfriend, MJ. "Peter's not in jail. He's just, well..."

The princess of Wakanda trailed off, pointing over to the terminal.

Light footsteps could be heard by those with superheroes, but it was only moments before the brunette teen could be seen bounding towards them.

Only, he wasn't alone.

No, Peter was practically hanging off the arm of another teenager. A familiar teenager with black hair, odd clothing choices, and a colour palette made up of green, black, and gold.

Loki.

Peter smiled brightly as he and Loki came to a stop in front of the gaping heroes, cameras flashing away wildly.

Before the teenager could open his mouth to speak, his family (including Pepper, who Natasha had trained fiercely) got into fighting stances.

"Brother," Thor growled, "unhand the child of Stark and the Sorcerer."

"Hey, hey!" Peter cried, blinking furiously like a deer in the headlights. "Wait - no. Hold on... Listen, I want you all to remeet Loki, my husband. No fighting necessary!"

There was a long pause of silence.

"...Husband?" Mantis asked softly, starting a wave of shouting.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"

"STARK, FIX YOUR SON!"

"WHY WASN'T I INVITED TO THE WEDDING, BROTHER?!

"PETER ELOPED IN EUROPE?!"

"TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE!"

"WHO THE FUCK EVEN IS THIS?!"

"YOU MARRIED LOKI?!"

"PETER BENJAMIN PARKER STARK STRANGE!"

After the shouting calmed down, and most of the airport was watching the interaction greatly amused, Bucky spoke up. "How the fuck did this even happen?"

Loki and Peter shared a look, as if asking each other whether they wanted to tell the story. Eventually, it was Loki that spoke up.

"Well, I was hiding away in Italy, when I met this incredible, vaguely familiar brunette who recognised me almost instantly," Loki replied, gesturing to Peter. "But instead of running, he said it was nice to meet me so of course I had to offer to take him out to lunch."

"And then he followed us all the way to the Czech Republic, which is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me," Peter swooned. "That's where we went out to Prague's Signal Festival, had a blast, then got married."

"We've been together ever since," Loki said, pulling Peter closer.

"Mr Harrington literally had a heart attack when he found out," MJ snickered.

"Weirdest trip to the emergency room ever," Shuri added, holding back a laugh.

"I still believe it was witchcraft that caused this relationship," Mr Dell interrupted sternly. "I would be looking into my past involvement with witches, if I were you."

Nobody paid much mind to the teacher, too focused on Peter and Loki who were now flirting blatantly with some of the most cheesy pick up lines in existence.

Ned sighed deeply as he looked from the newly weds to the Avengers. "I've had to deal with their lovey-dovey-ness for the last week. It's your turn now."

In joint horror, Stephen and Tony shared a look, agreeing with a word needing to be spoken. "You're getting a divorce."

"NEVER!"