Crazy Super-Gay Peter Parker One-shots

The Really Revealing Results Of An Alien Invasion

While I am still not taking requests anymore, the plot of this fic comes from the brilliant mind of @A_Gay_Bad_Bitch.

Ships: IronStrange, SpideyPool, Thoruce, BlackPepper

Warnings: Alien invasions, mentions of assassinations, angst/sadness, deaths (none of the main characters die, though!).

I can't tell if this is crack written far, far too seriously, or angst with crack undertones. Either way, it's definitely something.

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Peter Parker-Stark did not like to keep secrets.

Not from his family, at least. Which is exactly why his vast number of hero relatives all knew of his Spider-Man identity.

However, some times things were better left unsaid. Especially when your 'vast number of hero relatives' are fiercely protective, to the point of treating you like a child.

Thus, Peter was, in fact, keeping one major secret from both his family and everyone else (excluding MJ, Ned, and three others, excluding himself). This secret being that Peter was currently dating one of his classmates.

Wade Wilson.

That was all fine and good, until things tumbled downhill very, very quickly one random Friday night.

"I've secured Queens," Peter called into his coms, immediately connecting to the other heroes on alien-invasion duty.

"We've got the mothership contained," his father, Tony, replied quickly, the sound of Stephen's muffled voice coming through, too.

Peter sighed in relief, checking his surroundings before pulling off his mask. He was beyond exhausted - they all were. Emotionally, physically, and mentally.

No matter how hard they tried, there were never no deaths when disasters like this occurred. Tonight would be no different.

"I'll order pizza for dinner," Steve announced eventually, getting mumbles of agreement from the various heroes. "Pete, are you coming back, or are you going to stay in Queens?"

Peter mulled it over for a long moment, then replied softly. "I should probably check on my friends, but I'll be back by the time pizza arrives. Especially since nothing will be open around here for at least a month."

The teen turned off his coms as his family members began discussing how exactly they were going to get pizza delivered after an alien invasion. He rolled his eyes, nanotech suit melting into the form of a watch on his wrist.

By 'check on my friends', Peter meant 'call my friends and make sure my boyfriend isn't using this opportunity to assassinate politicians'.

Sure, Wade wasn't exactly sane, but keeping himself from being caught was a major priority - which is exactly why no one (other than Weasel, Vanessa, Peter, Ned, and MJ) knew he was Deadpool. Thus, the confusion would mean that the Avengers (and law enforcers) wouldn't be sniffing around, trying to find out Deadpool's identity.

Peter was across the street from his boyfriend's apartment complex by the time his Spidey-Senses went off, forcing the teen to realise something was wrong. Looking up revealed exactly what 'wrong' entailed.

The top three floors of the building had mostly collapsed into the fourth, caving in with such intensity that it posed the question of whether the building had been structurally sound in the first place. But that was just New York for you.

Wade's apartment was on the second highest floor.

Peter rushed inside in an instant, racing up the stairs as others ran past him - either escaping the building or looking for their own loved ones.