words from a broken soul

"SLTW" Grief "SLTW"

It's something you'll always carry in life
But it's something that does get manageable
Eventually though the loss will come back
At the weirdest of times some say it's the
Ones that passed on coming back to remind
You that their still with us in our hearts
Grief isn't something you'll shake off it's
Grown around the grief doesn't get smaller
But you being the container grow to fit it
Better but sometimes it'll get to you no
Matter what it'll get to you it still does with
Me I'm never going to find closure in regards
To one father figure and their death but
Others can find closure to how their loved ones pass
It's something you'll always carry in life

It always sucks when those related to us die
But sometimes it doesn't but when it does it's
Best to have a memento mori of those we lost
I still have my uncle's wallet I try to barely use it
To keep it in the state I got in yet my grandfather
I don't have much of that I can easily carry
With me or much of his stuff but I'll always
Carry him in my heart even as the memories
Bleed into the fog of an ashen haze within
My mind's mind of mine memory is fickle
But the heart is more resilient on those
Who we lost and hope are fine in the unknown
That is the afterlife no one knows what
We'll find when we die it's shaped in what
You believe in be it heaven, hell, Valhalla, Hel or any other beliefs
There's only speculation and hope after death
Speculation of what it's like and hope
That loved ones have found peace through
The passing of life
It's something you'll always carry in life

We all grieve in our own way for me it was
Hiding behind a fake smile that I wore as a
Mask to make everyone think I was fine as
I started to battle with the depression that
Came with losing two people who were the
Closest thing I had to a father figure as a lad
One died when I was eight another five years later
One I have closure for the other I have
A bitter taste on my tongue when thinking
About the circumstances of death and
The proceedings after he died never made
Sense what I was told and how he was found
Heard another version of how he died it left
An even more bitter taste on my tongue
I'll never find the closure I seek if any is
To truly be found or the answers right there
I just don't want to accept it and choose to
Lie to myself thinking there's more to the puzzle
And those pieces aren't worth looking for
Who's to say it's not me or you it's a reality
That I have to face or avoid being hurt more
By trying to find answers that might not
Satisfy the curious cat to bring it back from death
Yet I can't help but to wonder if the puzzle
Is already complete or are there missing pieces
It's something you'll always carry in life