words from a broken soul

Fog

Fog makes everything difficult
When your memories are locked
Behind a fog alike ashen haze
It makes remembering things
Feel impossible to me at least
The amount of times I've taken
Another does of my meds because
The fog in my brain makes me forget
That I did take it already but better safe than sorry right
Fog makes everything difficult

Yet the fog in my brain still finds ways
To haunt me with the past that's lurking
In my shadows because it's akin to the void
Wear a mask to hide everything wrong
Eventually it start feeling like it's you true face
Because it's even fooling you that your fine
I've gotten used to having fog in my brain
My soul is full of smoke and ash what
Harm is fog in the brain going to cause
Fog makes everything difficult

Always wondering do people actually like me
Or do the just put up with the cold ghost
That I am who'll care if the suicide ideation
Wins thanks to the void I'm always wondering
Things like this while being haunted by
My the demons of my past that live in shadows
Thinking constantly can't turn it off the
Broken parts courtesy from being altered
In the hell I grew up it cost me my sanity
To just become numb to the hell around me
Fog it makes everything difficult

Yet what other horrors hide in that ashen haze
Will I ever know the answer to that question
I truly don't know if I'll ever find them
Just like I'm not sure I'll find the version
Of myself who died in hell with me taking
Their place not knowing what I'm doing in
This game of life I'm just a dead man
Living off of borrowed time but we all are
On borrowed time eventually will see death
But what is there when your dead and gone
Fog makes everything difficult

Will there be freedom in death or is it just
Nothing we'll never know because the after
Is just speculation no matter what you believe
You can't confirm the afterlife is like the
Description you've been told it could truly
Just be a big empty void of darkness
Nothing more nothing less but what
Happens in between life and death is
The light those who think the world of you
Should celebrate and cherish because
Memories will be all there is in the end
Fog it makes everything difficult

But what good are memories if all they do
Is haunt you because you think you could've
Done better than the past version of yourself
That what's going on in my fog ridden brain
I'm constantly thinking if I could've done
Better stuck in the past yet slowly living
In the present split between the two wishing
Things could've turned out differently yet
Trying to decipher the life lessons with in
The fog that plagues my brain unable to
Fog it makes everything difficult