words from a broken soul

"TW" Answers "TW"

We all seek answers to the questions we have
But what do you do when the answers don't
Satisfy the curiosity of the question asked
I have so many questions yet I doubt I'll
Ever find the answers that satisfies my
Curiosity that is cat-like yet I'll always wonder
Never to believe the story told by the bitch
That my granda called a wife in regards to
His suicide nothing from the answer adds
Up he hung himself in the bathroom from
The shower head a few issues there alone
One he was about 5'10-6' the house is old
So the showerhead is low granda had to
Weigh at least 220 and up doubt it'll hold
Shit gets crazier his and that women's room
Was literally behind the wall of the bathroom
So how the hell did no one hear the struggle
We all seek answers to the questions we have
But what do you do when the answer don't
Satisfy the curiosity of the question asked

And if you thought those facts don't add up
How about his body was found against the
Bathroom door which is more plausible then
The shower head would be yet again how'd
No one hear the flailing of limbs when he
Was suffocating how was a twelve year old
Able to push the door enough to see the corpse
I was thirteen when this happened and three
Years out the hell I grew up in yet the bitch
Has the audacity to blame my family for
His suicide because he couldn't see us
Newsflash bitch he was my ride to school
And back home you're just a vindictive old hag
Your God damn husband and the kid of yours
Who jokingly said he was my dad were dads to me
When they died so did the ties to your fucked up house and family
My answer fuck your blood I'm forced to have
Pumping through me to live It's half dead
It feels more like a damn curse I was forced
To bear for heavy is the crown of trauma
Let me make it clear you were a lying bitch
A manipulative bastard who I loath more
Than the existence of living so let me answer this
I'm not you're family I couldn't give a rats ass
Of who's blood and who's not family isn't
Always by blood and well blood don't mean
Shit with what damages you and the unfortunate sod
I have for a father caused to me and my siblings
We all seek answers to the questions we have
But what do you do when the answer don't
Satisfy the curiosity of the question asked

And don't you bloody fucking say I was brainwashed
For it takes someone to know how to do so to say
Another did the same you gave me trust issues
Fed me lies all my life literally all my life
I was forced to endure the hell that was in
That house God damn how'd it not get condemned
The euphoria that basement light switch brought
Willingly getting shocked just to feel something
That was emotional torture for a child you
Such a great woman who most definitely
Isn't going anywhere nice after death that's
The only thing I can find faith in through
The pain and scars within my psyche love
How my mental health was a group project
Of a fucked up family be silent no one will
Hurt you be a ghost no one can detect you
Those skills aren't going away ever for they're
Engraved into me just so I could escape harm
You claim to be a Saint remember the devil
For he was once an angel who got cast out
I have faith in death you'll never find peace
For peace was never something I felt for nine years
Even at night I lied awake hope my deathwish
Would be granted twisted is fate for the wish
Was granted just came with a steep cost
Sanity for a death yet its worth it I may be
Something of cheap knock of but I have
Enough memories from the lad to know
How fucked up our childhood was funny
No that my wish is granted in the form of
My brain finally becoming altered and broken
We all seek answers to the questions we have
But what do you do when the answer don't
Satisfy the curiosity of the question asked