words from a broken soul

Alone

We all hate being alone
Yet when you walk through hell
And become altered from it
You start to feel like you're alone
I've always seen myself as a ghost
Because I died in the hell around me
Became an amalgamation of broken parts
Trying to pass of as sane not what we are
There's nothing sane about me truthfully
We all hate being alone

If you stare in my eyes long enough
You might just see the face underneath
The mask that's used to hide the pain
The face of someone who's home altered
Them made them numb to hell to survive it
Will you understand and comprehend how
It's a miracle I'm still breathing or will
You say what I went through is nothing
But a bunch of lies and the parts it gave
Me are just a cry for attention
We all hate being alone

Truth is I hate being around people
Comes naturally when you know
How truly sick and twisted people can be
Always wondering who to trust and
Who to avoid being around to save yourself
From being betrayed but when you grow up
In an altered hell there's not anything if
Much you can do choices they're limited
You can tell someone the horrors of hell
But then that might worsen the horrors
We all hate being alone

But it's better to speak about the horrors
Then to let them dictate your life
I've always been alone growing up
Had one good friend going through
Their own hell we were kids escaping
Through video games and each other
Just fucking around in games till
One of had to leave go back into
The voids of hell till next time we
Were able to hangout and escape again
But they made me a light to fill the void
We all hate being alone

That one friend gave me the strength
To endure the hell around me survive it
And I could see them again escape again
Even if the escape was temporary it was
Better than being in the hell around me
The hell I became numb and desensitized to
This one friend was the closest thing
To family I had in that hellish void
The darkness that home life shrouded
Around me haunts me like the shadow
I am of my former self I was joyful damn it
Now all I see are the colors black and white
We all hate being alone

But sometimes when I'm alone
I get to thinking it leads to writing
These words reminds me I'm one
Lucky bastard to survive a hell like I did
Makes me push on in this game of life
Thankful for the few friends I did make
The ones who try to understand my parts
Those who don't see me as wanting attention
But the doubts I have of if they care
It's courtesy of the void and the hell
Because I was always told I was worthless
We all hate being alone