words from a broken soul

Stagnant

I always feel stuck in place no brace
Just a face in the crowd always trying
To ignore the feeling of stagnation yet
Uncaring of it for it keeps me feeling safe
Ironic I'm always just feeling like ghost
Lost in the flow of life that's barely controlling
A corpse the strings am I the one pulling
Them or are they moving on their own I
Don't even know at this point if I'm the
One who's the puppeteer or if I'm the Marinette just flow with strings moves
I always feel stuck in place with no brace
Just a face in the crowd always trying

When you got no dreams or goals in life
What do you do I'm not social hate it
Just as much as I see my blood as a curse
Was always one to observe yet that left
Me to feel cold oh so cold dead even
Sure I got friends yet I'm fine without
Speaking old habits truly die hard no
I'm always gonna be hiding something
From someone balance on the frayed line
That i is my sanity been driven off the cliff
Of normalcy since I was a child hell left
Me with scars and battles fractured what
I call a brain a psyche that's barely intact
Yet I keep wearing this mask of mine
Pretending I'm fine when I feel like I'm
Withering away from horrors that left
Me altered for life yet I'm not right am I
Who's to say I'm not the one with answers
I always feel stuck in place with no brace
Just some face in the crowd always trying

To be someone knowing I can't for I'm just
A copy of a person who's long since died
Yet he lives on through me I try to buy the
Lie to feel better never works no it never does
I've accepted fate I know my world view
Isn't for everyone on many things can't
Care with the scars etched into me I earned
To be bitter about life for when death comes
I'll not be scared I've "died" so many times
That I just don't fear the reaper any more
Just hope to out live the ones who caused
Me the pain I hide from people at face value
I'm fine one look through my eyes you'll
See a stormy ocean that's accepted the
Torment he went through and became
Numb to it emotions are a distraction
They'll kill you more often then not give
You heartache so I've become one who'll
Kill them before they kill me got a voice
I always feel stuck in place with no brace
Just a face in the crowd always trying

It’s a flat and monotonous voice I don't care about
It yet somehow I'm able to break through
The monotone when singing some songs
Music feel the beat and just vibe as drown
Out the memories long lost that fight to
Reminder of the shadows that haunt me
Feel my chest screaming at me to stop
Don't care let my lungs collapse got more
Then enough energy to scream out at least
Then my voice will be different even if it's
Only temporary but so is life many things
Don't last it's the way the universe works
Can't change it no faith will ever accomplish
Such a feat we can only make it more comfortable
I always feel stuck in place with no brace
Just some face in the crowd always trying