words from a broken soul

Rain

To some it brings tranquility
For others is brings gloom
Another it's a mild inconvenience
Yet I'm indifferent to rain loved it as a lad
But after my tenure in hell I lost the lad
Who had fun playing in the rain in his place
Was my indifference to it yet I'm similar to it
I'm cold and numb to the bone when you
Get drenched in rain you to will become
Cold and numb to the bone but I just grow
More cold and numb because that's what I am
To some it brings tranquility

Thing is we all liked playing in the rain as kids
Yet when you grow up rain either brings
You tranquility or gloom maybe indifference
I've alway been indifferent to rain as a teen
Even if it was heavily pouring while waiting
For the school bus to pick up for another day
Of what felt like I was just a cog in an assembly
But the rain it gets into your bones so to speak
Makes you colder than what you should be
It's a shame I've been cold for as longs as
I can remember which is spotty memories
At best but you get the point I was joyful
Once in life then I became cold to survive hell
For some it brings tranquility

But the coldness around me during rain
Felt refreshing to know that even nature
Can be as cold as I'm used to being me
When the lad fell down the well I took
Their place because I damn sure was gonna
Survive the hell I endured yet it came with
The hefty cost of my sanity if you look into
My eyes what will you see in these dead orbs
Are you able to see someone's who's insane
Or will you see the amalgamation of parts
Behind my obs showing just how broken I am
Maybe you will see someone who's been
Wearing a mask for so long it'll fool you
Into thinking that I'm actually sane wait
Till you meet the other parts of hope
You don't piss of the assassino hope
You get the ghost rider instead of anger
Pray you meet the logical one instead
For some it brings tranquility

The truth is you'll be looking into the orbs
Of a ghost who's never really lived not
In the traditional way of the word never
Lived for myself always living for others
Wondering if death will be freedom or just
Another hell I'll have to endure and survive
Yet that if there truly anything when you
Draw your final breath what does the afterlife
Look like everyone has their own ideas
Me personally I'm hoping it as rainy and gloomy
As I've seen this world to be because
Black and white makes things clear
But I can't help but be envious of those
Who can see this world in brighter color
For some it brings tranquility