words from a broken soul

Hidden

There's only so much that can be hidden
Yet when others know what to look for
You can't hide much to them or yourself
So much was hidden from yet one person
They forced it out me not like I had a choice
They were persistent yet blunt did more
Harm than good sometimes but what do
I expect from them now though I just wish
The let me take things in my way not force
Me to see what was hidden behind the very
Fabric on my mind within the mind but its
Not that bad I guess would of found out
Eventually I suppose but still gentle is nice
There's only so much that can be hidden

I've always thought I hid my pain well no
I was just a naive child who was made to
Be misery's misfit to Nightmares I called
Family even now they still haunt me
Bloods half dead to me yet the curse persists
Trying to find the courage to fight back
Against the horrors that fill my ashen soul
Whatever joy I cling to for happiness was
Absent from my childhood just full of hollow
Emotions never truly felt loved and love
It still eludes me like everything else does
To be depressed from a young age wear
A mask to hide the pain telling myself I
Was fine forcing myself to believe my own
Lies it was easy seeing as I couldn't trust
Most people in my life to tell me the truth
There's only so much that can be hidden

Truth is I started to believe my own lies
Like all the others I was told lies and trust
Two sides of the same coin but the coin
Is unreadable which was which my mind
Couldn't foresee the lies from the truth
Yet I kept battling with these thoughts
Just to will myself on trying to decipher
Which were lies and which were truths
Unable to so I stagnant like a flame that
Is barely being tended to mere embers
Always to feel like a ghost whose more
Of a corpse being puppeteered just cold
Yet unable to feel became numb to hell
Numb it's the only thing I've really know
When the lad chose suicide via the well
He left a copy in his place me yet I'm just
A husk compared to what I remember him
As so much joy yet I feel dead in my mind
I'm just a ghost struggling to mend the soul
There's only so much that can be hidden

Though I suppose the fire within us is unyielding
But there's always that damn void who
Whispers so sickly about my scars that
Fill the psyche what memories I wish were
Mere ash forces off the cliff down to the sea
Desperately trying not to drown from the
Flashbacks I've had forced onto me yet
The spirit can remain for only so long
But I battle on to try and see the light in
This everlasting darkness of my mind
But whose voice does the abysmal void
Use I feel I will never know nor come close
To but I keep going no matter how dead I am
To keep living a life I never wished to use
There's only so much that can be hidden

These words and art if you call it that to
Vent how my past has made me view the world
It's funny to think how view life were born
In the end we die but that it truly it's what
You make of your life that matters but I
Still I am weary of nightmares for they are
Humans in disguise not all humans are
But I've met my share and heard of my share as well
Bear or man I chose the bear for it could
Kill me yet if I leave it only it will do the same
But man wear so many masks you can't
Trust them ironic if have more trust issues
Then with the sex that abused and lied to
Me for most of my life but even then I'm
Still prone to distrust people in the end
There's only so much that can be hidden