words from a broken soul

Storm

There's always a storm coming
You never know when it'll come
But there's sign one's coming
But if you like me who became
Numb to hell to survive it your
Survival instincts are always
Looking for the sign of the storm
Even if one never coming
There's always a storm coming

And if you have ptsd like me
A storm can become a hurricane
The storm is leading to a crescendo
Of a hurricane forcing you to relieve
The horrors of a past that haunts you
A past you want to forget yet you can
Never seem to truly forget that past
I know what it's like being terrified
And looking out for what may trigger
The hurricane to drag you back
Into those horrendous memories
There's always a storm coming

I count myself lucky sometimes
You benefit from having a disorder
That makes most of your past smoke and ash
But it's a double edged sword I can't
Remember most my childhood
And what I can remember it's nothing good
Always wondering what other horrors
There's always a storm coming

From my past will break through the
Thick viscous fog that's alike an ashen haze
Most times I'm wishing I could remember
What other hell did I endure to survive
Others times I'm wondering what
Good it would do knowing the other possible horrors
There's always a storm coming

Hell the storm could just be depression
Which is another storm building into
The altered hell of a hurricane I call
My natural habitat because chaos
And hell twas all I knew growing up
You become numb to it desensitized
I remember telling a friend my dad
Raped my oldest sister I'm pretty sure
I got a beating for saying that
But I'll never know for sure
There's always a storm coming

The past is just an ashen haze
And if it's not ash and smoke
The memories start to bleed together
High school for an example is just
A bunch of memories that bled together
Or they're just not there nothing to remember
Being an outcast will do that you
Have little to no friends bothers some
But me I was used to being on my own
There's always a storm coming

I was never a talkative person
Ironic because I hate silence but
High school was such a cacophony
That I rather drown out with music
All the different conversations at lunch
None that I was really apart of so not like
Anyone was going to ask for my input
There's always a storm coming

Freshman year captain america civil war
That had just came out I never understood
They hype everyone was giving it but
Then again I only pay attention to spiderman
The merc with a mouth and wolverine
The rest was pointless cash grabs
There's always a storm coming