words from a broken soul

Emotions

Emotions are stunted for me
They never lead to anything good
All emotions are negative to me
Emotions equals weakness
Weakness equals an easy target
Emotions are stunted for me

Rage lead to me Hating myself
Screaming to archangel till
My voice is fucked throat just as fucked
Lungs and sternum feeling like they'll cave
Waiting with baited breath for them to cave
Emotions are stunted for me

Always felt like I was never good enough
This is where the self pity and loathing come in
Always distanced myself from others save
Then the pain of knowing my broken self
Emotions are stunted for me

All emotion feels foreign like it's not real
Just some dream that I made up
Thing is I don't know what to do with them
I bottle them up so I can get on with the hell
We have to call life
If I feel nothing then it's a good
It was always strange feeling emotions
Growing up it was drilled into me that
They're just a weakness a way for someone
To use you for their personal gain
Emotions are stunted for me

They overwhelm me easily
You'd wouldn't know because I hide it well
Pride I have nothing to be proud of
Plus pride usually leads to hubris
Mythology geeks now both led to
Ircarus falling back to earth and dying
Emotions are stunted for me

Happiness you say there is none
When you walk through hell Growing up
Nothing to be happy about to me
Those day long since passed
I see the world in pitch black
Emotions are stunted for me

The world leads me to wonder
Are we just some sick twisted experiment
By Gods and goddesses are we just
Too stubborn to give up and let things take
It's coarse watch the world burn before
Our very eyes everyone is corrupt
Everyone has a sick twisted side
That they hide
Some people are so arrogant they don't hide it
Emotions are stunted for me

Growing up I quickly learned that there
Are truly sickening people walking this world with us
I have first hand experience that I never
Asked for but I have it nonetheless
Rape molestation mental physical emotion
All types of abuse I went through Growing up
Emotions are stunted for me

Joy you ask what is joy to me it's nothing
But a distraction from my pain
Excitement you ask
Just your brain rushing out serotonin
Love you ask
Something that we can never truly understand
Something that make us blind to the wrong were subjected to go through
Sadness you ask
Something I've felt since I was 7 or 8 give or take
It's just an imbalance of chemicals produced by your brain
Anguish you ask
Sadness cranked to 100
Distress you ask
Fear your brain can't handle something
So it causes you to be overwhelmed
Emotions are stunted for me

Don't get me wrong I do feel them but
They're as fleeting as leaves in the autumn wind
They just serve as distractions
From this hellish game called life
I'll never love myself
There's nothing to love just hate
Hate was all I've ever known Growing up
Emotions are stunted for me