words from a broken soul

Past

The past is best forgotten no
But for most it's not easy
I'm lucky in that aspect but not really
Got a disorder that makes the past
Forgotten automatically at least my
Childhood past there's thing I wish
The firestarter as mysterious he is
Would turn into smoke and ash
The past is best forgotten no

Looking back into the past can be
Nostalgic but others times it cause
Regrets and thoughts of could it have
Turned out differently that my experience
Always wonder if I could go back to certain
Event would I make a better choice or would
I make an even worse choice then
The one I originally made you can
Never know if you could make it happen
The past is best forgotten no

Sometimes I wish I could forget my ex's
But that's not a good idea we may have
Drifted apart like void grew between us
But sometimes I'll remember the good
Old days when times were simpler when
I never knew about the abuse I went through
Though thinking about if I could go back
In time would I keep my current knowledge
Or would it get erased and I have to wing it
The past is best forgotten no

Thing is I may not talk to one ex anymore
But that doesn't mean I don't worry for them
The second ex I'm pretty sure she talks to
Me simply because they feel obligated to
But maybe just maybe I can fucking hope
That I would have treated both of them better
I wasn't a good person to either that's my
Biggest regret I maybe a dead and cold
Person but even I know how badly I wronged them
The past is best forgotten no

The first ex they were persistent in breaking
Me out my shell met them in middle school
Didn't interact much tried my hardest to ignore
Them but eventually I caved and started responding to them
They were pretty sweet yet I know sweet people
Are always hiding untold pain and horrors
Even the battles they've gone through alone
They're always hidden like a ghost in thick fog
You'll never truly see them without looking behind
The mask they wear on their face and see
The true them after all I'm speaking from
An outside perspective of myself
There's not much value to it though
The past is best forgotten no

But they made look forward to going to
School just seeing them for an hour
Or two including lunch it was alright
Didn't really click with most the people
They knew probably about three people
That they hung out with did I see as friends
I remember the first time we hung out after
School my mom was confused on who these
People were because I forgot to mention
That I'd be hanging out with friends
The past is best forgotten no

Now I just feel like we're complete strangers
Always wondering if there's anything salvageable
Because I may not like that ex anymore
At least not in that way but we're two
Completely different people then our
Young love days of school and they
Say that young love dies hard it did
Yet we chose to remain friends now
I'm not so certain if that the correct term
The past is forgotten no

The second ex fuck me man where to begin
It was my junior year they randomly added me
I didn't know who they were but they looked
Familiar I just couldn't place it turns out
They were a friend of my sisters yes
I know it's unspoken rule with family
Don't date your siblings friends and don't
Date you friends siblings kinda obvious right
The past is best forgotten no

I was such a narcissistic and egotistical
Asshole towards my second ex kinda controlling too
I'll admit that because it the truth
But I was more romantic with them
Love letters giving them massages after
A long day of them working my first ex
I didn't do anything special for those
Special days because it didn't last long
Two months to be exact but my second
The past is best forgotten no

I remember what those who meant the world to me
They taught me to be a gentleman in some
Aspects I failed in their teachings in others
I think I did good but I'll never truly know
They've been long dead ghosts that can't
Give me their probably shitty advice
But those are too close to home to be written
I just know I treated my second ex how
I was treated growing up I'm always regretting
How I treated them both of them to be honest
The pain I inflicted on them and vice-versa
The past is best forgotten no

But sometimes you gotta remember the past
To learn from the mistakes you made
Every choice in the past that worked
Against you take it as a life lesson
And strive to do better than your past self
The future isn't dictated by the past
Sure it's influenced by the past
But the future I shaped by the lessons
You learned from the past and how
You use those lessons to do better
In the present to shape the future you want
The past is best forgotten no