words from a broken soul

Passion

We all have something that's a passion
For some it's the art that they make
For another it's their significant other
Others It's their family that's their passion
Yet I'm unable to find my passions sure
You could say the poems I make are
My passion but that's not true they're
Just me venting my emotions so they
Don't overwhelm me and lead to a spiral
We all have something that's a passion

But me I have none just a ghost that's more
Akin to a corpse someone who's a shell of
Their former joyful self that lad chose to
Throw themselves down the well as a form
Of suicide and I took their place a cold part
Someone who's numb to emotions to not
Feel anything because they're a weakness
That need to be culled because that's what
I learned growing up being numb is strength
But what is there to be passionate about
When you only know how to be cold and numb
We all have something that's a passion

Not even video games are my passion
They're just a way to escape from the
Horrors of my past battles lurking in
My shadows waiting to break me down
Gotta ignore the void that's whispering
How I'm just a mistake that's better of dead
The world around me is terrifying because
People get away with shit if they have power or money
Trying to live a life I had no choice on
Broken and weak from the scars and flashbacks
Of the past that remind how lucky I am
To have made it this far in life when I gave
Up on life before I was done with middle school
We all have something that's a passion

Hell I'm not even passionate about life I'm
A pessimistic person it comes naturally if
You've lived life in hell get fed lies most
Your life not knowing who you can trust
When the only colors you can see the world
In are black and white because hell beat
The joyful outlook on life out of you but
These are just my experiences of hell
And how the pain altered me do my eyes
Show what chaos is in my ashen soul what
Little memories I have that aren't smoke and ash
We all have something that's a passion

But I'm just meandering through life always
Wondering who'll stab me in the back who
Can I really trust what other horrors did
I endure is it possible to have a friend back
Even if I can't get over the love I have for them
Do I force myself to constantly feel pain
Or just be content living in the Shadows
I've always known because I fear unknowns
What is there after death that the void is
Wishing me to go through and slash my throat
Feel my life get snuffed out like the dying
Flame that I desperately cling to for warmth
We all have something that's a passion